tales of the multifandom

48. sometimes emotions can overwhelm those not used to them

summary
in which in the aftermath of alec's breakup he looses himself in the grief and ends up almost killing himself

relationships
alexander lightwood x magnus bane

cast
matthew daddario as alec lightwood

harry shum jr as magnus bane

fandoms

shadowhunters

(the first part is set between 2x18 and 2x19 and the rest is set after 2x20)

(trigger warnings apply; do not read this if you are easily triggered, but its not terribly graphic. also this would never happen in the show, but in the books its implied a little that alec has a kind of depression, so i'm going off that for these fics)

—

Alec couldn't breathe. It was like a vice around his chest, slowly getting tighter and tighter until he was gasping desperately for air, clutching onto his desk in the hope to keep himself standing upright.

"I have to do what's best for my people." Magnus' words echoed through his head, slamming against his thoughts like a sledgehammer. All the thoughts from his childhood, the hatred other hunters had towards people like him, his mothers disappointment of him, all of it slammed into him. He hadn't been able to protect his brother, who had almost died at the hands of Sebastian. He didn't even feel the blade slicing up his wrists, barely even knowing what he was doing, a vague recollection of thoughts and memories flashing in front of his eyes before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he lost consciousness. He just wanted the pain in his chest to stop.

Maryse went in search of her eldest child, curious as to where he'd dissapeared to so suddenly after Max had woken up. She knocked on the door of his office, frowning when she didn't get a reply and pushed open the door. What she saw was the last possible thing she could have ever expected to see of her son, of Alec Lightwood. He lay unconscious across the floor in front of the desk, laying in a pool of his own blood and two obvious cuts across both of his wrists, a seemingly normal knife dropped hazardly on the floor.

"Alexander!" She gasped, not caring about ruining her clothes and practically fell down beside him, grabbing his wrists in hope of stopping the bleeding which seemed to be bad. "No no no no." She cried, propping his body against hers while still holding onto his wrists. "Help!"

"Mom?" Izzy called, having heard her panicked screams only to freeze in utter horror when she came across the scene in front of her.

"Izzy go get help." The female Lightwood didn't listen, her skills as a surgeon kicking in. She yanked out a field med kit she'd hidden in his office, quick to help Maryse carefully wrap up her brothers arms. Once she was sure he wasn't loosing anymore blood, on shaky legs Izzy helped Maryse drag Alec to his feet, his arms around their necks and they quickly rushed to the infirmary. Seeing as how Max was in one of the medical rooms, they dragged him there, where the doctors and Brother Zachariah would be able to help.

When Alec came to, he wasn't sure what was going on. His head felt fuzzy, like it'd been stuffed with cotton balls and his arms were heavy by his sides. He knew he was in the infirmary, but he just didn't know why. He tried to open his eyes, but he was too weak, and slowly drifted back off to sleep.