tales of the multifandom

35. alexander lightwood

summary
in which alec and magnus take a vacation to figure out what alec wants

relationships
magnus bane x alec lightwood

cast
harry shum jr as magnus bane
matthew daddario as alec lightwood
dominic sherwood as jace wayland
emeraude toubia as izzy lightwood

fandom
shadowhunters

—

Alec paced back and fourth in his office in the new york insitute, hands running through his hair while shaking in adjitation, anger and fear. His head was spinning and his mind was overwhelmed with what he was feeling all at once.

"Alec?" A knocked sounded from the door along with the familiar voice of Jace, who didn't wait for Alec to invite him in and pushed the door open. He'd felt Alec's unease quickly bloom into panic through their bond and decided to make sure Alec was okay, now knowing it was the right call as his brother was pacing rapidly. "Woah woah, Alec you need to calm down before you have another panic attack."

In the recent months, Jace has felt Alec go into overdrive and send himself over the edge of what he was mentally able to handle. It wasn't a good feeling for either of them.

"I- i need to get out of here." Alec gasped, his trembling hands pushing past Jace and walking hastily from his office, towards the front entrance of the insitute despite Jace's insistant calls after him. He briefly caught Isabelle's gaze as he sped through the opps centre, ignoring the concerned epressions of alot of his fellow shadowhunters.

By the time Alec made it to his apartment he shared with Magnus, the shadowhunter wasn't sure how he was still standing. Short of breath, Alec fumbled with the lock before practially falling through the door. He caught himself, and shut the door behind him. He didn't think Magnus was home, so when he made it to the couch but fell to sit on the floor instead of the couch, his back against the couch.

"Alexander?" Magnus frowned, crouching beside Alec. Magnus could tell Alec was having trouble catching his breath, and his eyes were clenched shut and his hands were gripping his hair tightly. "Alexander, you need to breathe." It took almost 10 minutes, but by then Magnus had managed to calm Alec down enough to get him to talk. Magnus had sat down beside him, letting Alec sag against him in utter exhaustion.

"What's going on?" Magnus asked and for a moment Magnus wasn't sure Alec was going to answer him.

"Just, sometimes everything catches up with me i guess." Alec murmered. "My mother, she finally accepted me fully this morning. Which was great, but my dad, he couldn't do it. He said he was willing to throw away 23 years of memories away simply because he hates this." Alec weakly gestures between them. Alec shifts his head slightly, and Magnus sits up straighter, letting his boyfriend merely lean against him. "I guess, because my whole life, my parents drilled into me i was never good enough, you know. Doesn't matter how well i did something, they always found a flaw that they were sure was a simple mistake. I hate it." Magnus was suprised by how honest Alec was being about his feelings towards his parents, towards his life in the new york insitute.

"I have a propisition for you." Magnus said suddenly, Alec tilting his head to look up at his boyfriend. "You've been wearing yourself thin for almost a year since you became head of the insitute. From holding together the downworlder alliance, to everything in between."

"I'm not sure what your getting at." Alec said honestly.

"Take a vacation." Magnus said promptly. "Take 2 weeks, take a month. Hell, take as long as you need to figure out what you need. You have done what everybody else wants from you your whole life, now you need to fully start living your own life. You'l be no good to anyone if you burn out before you start." Alec didn't reply, but he knew what Magnus was saying was true.