EVERMORE ; SM

Thirty seven

"My ghost, where did you go?
I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me"

"Come on, just... please wake up, I miss you" Lena repeated her daily pleads to me "I know you can get through this, just keep on fighting" she kissed the back of my hand, as usual "Can you please give me any sign that you're listening? I mean, I want to know if you are, otherwise I'd be talking to the wall" she chuckled. Any sign? As if it was that easy. "Please, just a noise, or squeeze my hand?" Her hold tightened on my hand.

I concentrated, took a deep breath and tried to hold her hand back. I failed. The five times I tried were all useless.

"I guess it won't be today" she sighed and let go of my hand "I'll come later, I gotta go to work, but someone's here to take my place" by the sound of her voice I can tell that she was smiling.

"Hey there, Sleeping Beauty" Cameron's voice flooded the room.

"I'll leave you guys alone" Lena said, I could hear her voice going away and I guess she went out of the room.

"I truly can't wait for the day that those beautiful eyes are open again" he chuckled. Neither do I, Cam "Still you look so beautiful this way"

«Excuse me? This way? I'm a step away to be dead and you say I look beautiful? You have problems.»

"I mean, you look so small, innocent and cute, I'm sorry that you still have to be laying on that stretcher, I hope at least it's comfortable... You know what? Just forget I said anything"

I wonder how is Shawn doing? Has he called me? Has he called my parents or Lena? If he has, did they tell him everything? Of course they didn't, otherwise he'd be here with me. What do our kids think of me? Do they think I haven't called because I don't want to? Are they as worried about me as I am of them? Are they eating well? Drinking enough water? Getting enough sleep?

My heart started racing faster and faster with every question I asked to myself and I felt it crashing against my chest as if it was trying to get out of my body. The machine that says how my heart is doing started to make the annoying noise louder and faster.

"Kaylee, what's going on? Please calm down" Cameron grabbed me by my shoulders in an attempt to calm me down. It was useless, the machine stopped beeping quickly and then it was just one long beep.

My heart stopped beating.

I still heard Cameron yelling for help and then a crowd of nurses and a doctor came into the room.

They say that when you die surrounded by the people who love you, your soul comes out from where your heart is and it's painless, and I'm thankful it was this way.

I stood in front of the stretcher, seeing my pale, lifeless body laying on the stretcher and how the nurses and the doctor uselessly tried to make my heart beat again. I walked next to my body which bend to the back with the electroshocks it was receiving.

"Twelve fifty four" the doctor said the hour I died after a couple attempts to wake me, or make my heart work again.

«I'm sorry...»

I'm walking around the hospital, the floor feels cold against my feet, I don't hear any loud noises, just whispers and muffled sounds as I walk unnoticed next to nurses, doctors and patients.