EVERMORE ; SM

Thirty

"I can't wait to come back home" he made a pout.

"Neither us" I sighed "I wish I was hugging you right now instead of looking at you through the screen" I chuckled lightly.

"Me too, baby" he tried to cover his yawn with his hand.

"What time is it there?" I frowned my brows.

"Almost 2.00 am" he looked at his phone and then put it back down on the night desk next to him.

"Go to sleep, you have an interview early and a show later today, or tomorrow, or however this time differences work" he laughed at me.

"I don't want to leave you just yet" he complained.

"Try to sleep, I'll end the call when you're totally asleep and I'll call you when I wake up, which will probably right before you go up on stage, okay?

"Okay" he nodded "I love you"

"I love you too, sweet dreams" I smiled at the screen and he blew a kiss to the camera.

I saw how he got into bed and placed his laptop in front of him as if I was sleeping next to him.

A couple minutes later I noticed how his chest was moving slowly up and down and his lips were slightly parted so I decided to hang up.

I stared a the computer for a few minutes and then turned it off.

I felt absolutely weird, I felt anxious most of the time, I felt empty; the whole seven months he was here we spent them together, maybe sometimes we didn't see each other for a day or two, but I got completely used to his presence once again. I need to see him, I need to hug him, kiss him, get drunk with his delicious cologne's scent again, the sooner the better, otherwise I'll start going crazy.

I felt a warm tear running down my cheek, I wiped it before it could get to my neck. When Shawn left for tour I didn't have time to cry properly, I did drop a couple tears on my way back from the airport, but with the twins around all the time I can't break, I am supposed to be the strong one here and if the strong person breaks, how are they going to take it? I just can't do that to them, they'll feel terrible.

"Are you listening?" Lena snapped her fingers in front of my face repeatedly.

"Uh?" I blinked a few times as I got back to reality. I didn't even notice when she came into my room.

"Look at your messy self, are you okay?" She sat next to me and there's when I noticed I was crying my eyes out. I looked at her with puppy eyes and all she did was hug me.

"I totally understand how you feel" She caressed my back up and down and I cried harder. She was already getting used to the feeling of being away from her boyfriend, even though she cried for a whole week it's still new territory for her, but that's the difference between us, she did have time to cry and vent, I didn't. "Do you want me to get the twins from their friend's?"

"No, I think going out might help me" I pulled back from our hug.

"No, I think resting a little might help you. I'll take your kids out for dinner and then to your parents so you can treat yourself. You deserve it, okay?"

"But-"

"But nothing, you're staying here and relax, don't fight me" she threatened me with her finger and I sighed.

"Okay" I nodded "Thank you" I gave her a weak smile and then she left my room.

I walked to the bathroom and looked for some candles in the cabinet, then started to prepare a bubble bath.