Poem Cycle

Best Friends

Late at night you called me,

raising expectations in me that I knew that never existed.

I thought you called for me, but you told me that you had a fight with the guy you like.

I didn't know how to react, 

because I wanted to tell you to stay away from him and how upset I am with you.

I didn't understand myself why I am like this.

Why was I encouraging you that things are going to turn out alright with the guy you liked?

Your voice just told me that something is wrong,

I just wanted to fix it, so you are smiling again even though it will crush my soul.

I don't understand why I can't even express my feelings to you when I am this madly in love with you. 

If this was a dream, I would say this is a sad dream,

Yet, it's not.

I don't understand how I got myself in this situation. 

I am an idiot to get myself in this situation.

If I can control my inner feelings, I would throw away these feeling for the both of us,

however, nothing is working out for me.

You are so beautiful everyday, but in the end, we are just best friends.

I hate you for loving a different guy,

I hate having you being my best friend.

The part of you I hate the most is you calling me a best friend.

How long would I be stuck being your best friend?

How long would these feeling be stuck with me?

I am fine with you leaning on from time to time,

But sometimes I am not especially when you don't look at me the same.

When I try to step closer to you, why are you are a step closer to him?

Why did you draw this line between you and me?

Can't you and I be a thing?

I hate how aware I am with this line you created between us but you are not. 

I wish you weren't this pretty, 

Then I wouldn't have insomnia currently.

I wish you were just a dream, a very bad dream.

I wonder if I will ever confess one day.

Probably not, because I am scared of losing you.

I will endure it because we are best friends.

Sometimes, I don't want to be a person you can lean on.

I hate it when you talk about him too seriously and affectionally.

If you ever have an empty space would you look at me? 

Will you have an empty space next to you?

I was with you all the time,

yet you created a border that I can't cross. 

The world will be beautiful if you grabbed me.

Why don't you see me?

Why don't you see my feelings for you?

I can treat you better than anyone out there.

When will torture end?

When will you not be my best friend?