Poem Cycle

I'm Lost

I am searching everywhere I go

I am searching for a dream that is meant to be mine

I always wonder

Why am I not as good as the other kids

Why am I am lacking every time

Why can't I be good as the other kids

What is wrong with me

I wonder what is the purpose of life

I try not to compare myself with others

But my mind won't listen to me

My heart won't follow my mind

My mind won't follow my heart

What is the reason for this

I'm lost

Why can't I be as outgoing as the other kids

Why am I just that quiet girl

Why can't I be a person that is remembered 

What is the purpose of living

I wonder why I am enduring to this day

the next day, the next, next day, and the next, next, next day

Why can't I just let go of everything 

Grades 

School

Work 

skills 

desire

I don't know why I am behind as always 

I always try to act cool

I try to be quiet and cool

I wonder why I am still enduring all life is spitting out

I guess all I want to do is live 

I wonder what I am doing in my life

I wonder what I am holding on for 

I am wondering why I am holding on all the things that I don't care about 

Maybe it's because I care for it deep in my heart

I am so scared

I am scared to face everything life is throwing at me

I'm lost 

I don't know anymore

I feel so depressed everyday

Consuming in the emptiness that takes place inside me rent free

I wonder why I am living now

I wonder why I am even breathing now

I wonder if I would be the same person if I live in a different time and a different place

I don't understand myself anymore

I'm so confused 

Why am I so lacking in life?

Someone can you please hold your hand out to me

To save me from the darkness that consumes every single day of my life

I am scared of everything I face 

I just want that one person to protect me

To tell me that I will be truly okay

I'm lost

I want to be lost 

I want to be found 

I can't decided what I want 

That is how confused I am with my life

Am I meant to fail

I am trying hard

Is that not good enough for the world 

I am waiting for that moment

I guess I am just lacking

I am in a maze everyday

Trying to be free 

Trying to make it out safely 

But that doesn't seem to be working out for me

I wonder what I care about is what I actually care about 

I don't know 

When did I become a person like this

A emotionless person with no emotions 

Everybody fear me 

They fear me because I am quiet and emotionless 

Because I don't have a face

Because I hide my true self 

Because I am scared to show my true self

I don't know what I am scared of 

I'm lost 

I don't know what way to go to 

I don't know how to control myself 

I am scared that if I don't contain my feelings 

Then I will be vulnerable and broken

I don't ever want to be feel these feelings

I am unsure now 

I am not sure anymore 

I feel like I am walking in a desert with no end 

I feel like I am walking a road with no destination 

I don't know what to do with my life 

I am lost and scared 

It's okay if the world pass by me like I am a nobody 

I will stop the world 

I will tell it stop and look at me 

Even though it probably won't listen 

I will try 

I guess that is life 

I guess life is all about being lost 

Never meant to be found 

Learning to find yourself 

I don't know anymore 

I know one thing though 

I'm lost