Poem Cycle

You're not a Bad Girl

Don't question me any further

I am holding everything in

I am clenching really hard

I never felt such pain in my life

I am now questioning all my decisions

I remember that small shoulder

Where I leaned on everyday for hours

I am sorry for not showing enough love

I was scared to love

That is why I caused pain the inside you

I am holding on all our memories

Where we embrace

Where we kissed

Where we had simple dates

Where you cried in front of me

I want to live inside your memories forever

I just want you to remember our happy memories

I am such a fool to always smile around you

Yet, you left me 

You should have gave me some time

I knew you got hurt because of me

When you sigh when I kept my distance

When I just followed by the rules to protect my heart

You wanted me to show myself

I know you are a not a bad girl

I know you left for a reason

I knew you got hurt because of me

I know that's why you left me

I just have to endure it

I just have to deal with it

It was your choice to leave me

So, why

So, why are you crying because of me

Just omit me from your memories

Erase every part me of 

Then can I see your happy face again

Why are you sighing everywhere you go

It was my fault

You should happy

Why are you always crying silently and quietly

I am laughing at my left over feelings for you

I can't believe I still want you by me

Yet, I pushed you away from me

I couldn't admit the fact that you were in my heart

You were always in my heart

I will always smile without trying with you

You made me feel vulnerable

I thought it was better for me to form my barriers tighter

Now, I just want you to comfortably leave me

I can't believe I still miss you

I am having so much regret

I am causing this to myself

You are not the bad girl

I am just the bad guy

It's all my fault

I just can't forget us

It's better for you to leave

I will just cause more pain for you

I am trying to get a grip of myself

Yet, I can't

Why am I dying inside

It's my choice to make her leave

I am the bad guy

You're not a bad girl

I know it with my heart

My beating heart 

My regrets 

They all are questioning my mind's decisions

I know that you're a good girl

So, leave before you get hurt anymore by me

I guess I just have to deal with it

I can't have you get hurt again

So don't question about my love

I am trying hard to endure through this

I am barely holding back the tears