Not a Coincidence | yoonmin

As If We Were Calling For Each Other

THIS IS BOOK 3

READ BOOK 1 AND BOOK 2 FIRST
CHECK DESCRIPTION FOR TITLES

THIS BOOK CANNOT BE READ AS A STAND-ALONE

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서롤 불러왔던 것처럼

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Taking a long breath, Juseon released it in a sigh, throwing his body on his bed.

He looked up at the ceiling, the fact that he'd just come home to his mother's disappointed eyes on him not bothering him all that much. He tried telling himself he should — he should care that he just got an almost failing grade on his English essay, and he definitely should care that his mother had been scolding at him about it.

It was late 22nd century, learning and homework had become twenty times easier since the time she was his age, she'd said. But, Juseon just couldn't bring himself to even let the thought cross his mind more significantly.

His mind was occupied by something else. His heart strangely sped up as he thought about it, feeling like he'd just woken up from a nightmare even though it was afternoon and he'd woken up hours ago for school.

He knew dreams held no reality whatsoever —
not in the physicality of it, anyway. He knew that; he'd learnt in his first year of high school when reading a book about how dreams were just a result of humans' extreme emotions. But, what he saw this morning was unreal.

Unreal wouldn't be the term he'd use, he thought. It was unreal, yes, people might argue, since it's just a dream. But, he meant unreal in the way that it felt so unrealistically real.

He remembers having more dreams like these in the past, his dreams before adolescence just being small snippets that he forgot about once he woke up. But, he just noticed, ever since his teenage years started, these types of dreams were longer and more stuck to memory. And, more difficult to understand.

They were so confusing. One second, it looked like he was spending a time with a group of blurred out friends laughing, and the next moment it looked like a wet dream about a man he'd never met.

He could feel his heart-rate increase a little more thinking about the confusing short-lived images he saw in the dream. They were always fleeting, but so engraved to memory. And strangely, he couldn't place his finger on exactly anything. He could never clearly remember the face of who he was with or the names he'd said in the dream. He never was sure what was actually going on.

Maybe I'm just deprived of my sexual needs at this age with raging hormones, he thought, brushing it off once more, even when he didn't really want to.

He'd always thought it was just his body fulfilling his hormonal needs for him, and that was what he forced himself to think this time too. What else could it even mean, anyway?

Laughing to himself, he thought of back when he'd 'discovered his sexuality' when he thought of his dreams. And, even after he concluded he wasn't into girls, definitely not feeling aroused whatsoever.

His laughter died down a bit when he remembered another thing he realized—quite recently actually. After Juseon concluded he wasn't into girls, he went to the second option: he was gay.

But, then he even looked at other men and tried the same thing he did with girls, yet that didn't work either. It was like whatever sexual arousal he got, it always had to be the person in his dreams giving it to him.