Bastille Imagines

Numb

TW:
✨do not read if you can't deal with suicidal/self harm/depression themes ✨
If you are suffering from mental health issues then please don't hesitate to get in contact with friends, family, suicide hotline etc.

I wrote this when I was really struggling with my mental health, SH etc. It gets better I promise 💖

Dan's PoV
I stare at my blade. The blade that has kept my feelings at bay. Keeping everything numb.

I met this girl just last year as I was getting over my self harm addiction. Beautiful as ever. She would rather stay friends and not lose what we have. I opened up to her about everything. We would always text or phone each other. She brought my feelings back...

Feelings have been something I've never understood. Something I can not express. I became stressed. My feelings were all over the place.

I relapsed on the 10th of December after half a year of being clean. I tried talking to my friend about it and she tried to support me. It just got worse. I wasn't numbing my feelings however. I took away the stress cut after cut on my skin. The deeper it went the more I felt relieved.

Slowly the girl stopped talking to me. I received a message once a day if I was lucky.

Today is the day I do it. Today is the day I commit suicide. This girl brought this back on me.

I slit my wrists.

This girl distracted me from my recovery.

I grab the pills and open them.

I'm ready to become numb to everything. I'm ready to die.

I take the pills in a handful and lie down in a pool of my own blood. I see my phone turn on.

☺️💜 ~ Dan are you okay? Are you ignoring me??

I close my eyes and slip into darkness. Everything falls silent apart from the ringing of my phone. Slowly everything becomes silent. I slowly slip into oblivion. Where I know I'll be happier.