Kylo Ren X Reader

Chapter 28

 When you awoke you were bound to a metal contraption and Kylo was on a chair in front of you, his eyes were tired and he did not have his helmet to hide behind.

"What happened? Why am I not dead?" you asked your voice hoarse and burning.

"You used Dark Transfer to heal yourself," Kylo said numbly, "why did you save her?"

"Huh?" you tried to process what he had meant by Dark Transfer, you'd never heard the term before.

"My mother, why?!" Kylo shouted this time standing up.

"Because she isn't wrong." 

A silence hung over the air and you did not take the chance to elaborate he needed to take that how he pleased. She wasn't wrong about trying to fight the First Order, she wasn't wrong there was still light in him - he could take his pick.

"How did you learn to do that?" Kylo changed the subject.

"I didn't learn to, I didn't even know it was called that. Just please let me out of these restraints nothing is going to happen to me now, I'm no-"

"So you've done it before?" Kylo asked he cocked his head slightly and began to pace.

"I healed myself before, once. I was young, it was when..." you didn't want to relive the memory of your childhood captivity but flashed the memory through your mind so he would get the picture.

"Do you realise how immense your force power is to conjure that?" 

"Well....when you put it that way..." you regarded him. He was being serious, he thought you were powerful? Is that why he had you bound? Was he afraid you'd hurt him?

That's what is it felt like to give life?? But everything was so dark and I did it by using the dark side so after all why is it so bad? You shook the thought from your head, knowing full well the dark side wasn't what you wanted, you'd saved Leia for a reason.

"Leia and her army lack the mental ability to comprehend the need for balance, no one is truly good in life, if she couldn't see that becoming a grey jedi is the way forward then I don't think she will ever find her way forward," you answered his question from earlier "but what the First Order do isn't right either and she didn't deserve to die."

"She deserved it, just like my father," Kylo said angrily as if it wasn't your right to choose his parents fate.

"Why did you say I love you to me? If you can kill both your parents at will, without even a second thought, how did you find the ability to love me?" you said looking to the floor sadly.

"You think I said that with genuineness? I said it to stop you struggling, you would have killed me and Hux if I hadn't have intervened"

That cut like a knife and your naive heart tried to force the doubt away, pleading Kylo wasn't about to admit it twice.

You played the staring contest for a long while, trying to read each other before you spoke again, "are you afraid of me now Ben?"

"Don't call me that!" he seethed.

"So you are?" you looked down again not baring to look him in the eyes. Not wanting your heart to falter in weakness at the site of him. 

"Of course I am not-"

"Then why am I restrained?" 

"You're not" the Commander said and you frowned at him angrily he wasn't supposed to have worked you out, you still wanted him, you still craved him, you couldn't help but bow to his will.

You snapped the restraints using the force and pulled yourself off the device. 

"What now?" you sighed.