Knock On Wood (BoyxBoy)

chapter forty-eight.

Kevin didn't know what to expect when he got to the hospital. He didn't know what emotions he thought that he'd have--sadness, anger, relief (for finally being out of the police officer's car)--but, turns out, he didn't have any emotion. Empty is the only word he thought would describe himself, but he didn't like it (because it seemed too cliché).

The police officer--Taylor White, Kevin found out--pulled up to the front of the hospital and stopped. Kevin thanked him, and was about to get out of the car until the officer grabbed him by the wrist.

"Listen, Kevin," Officer Taylor warns. "We don't know if it's actually him. There's no way that we can know for sure."

His voice is quiet, but stern.

"I know," Kevin says. "But there has to be some kind of chance."

"Maybe," Officer Taylor says, letting go of Kevin's arm. "Good luck, kid."

"Thanks," Kevin says. He doesn't know what he was thanking the officer for.

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Kevin's phone is full of messages, some from Edd, some from Nat, and some from the unknown number Emma texted him on.

Kevin went through Nat's messages first. They were about the Emma thing.

From: Nat--4:25 p.m.

Hows it going so far?

From: Nat--4:32 p.m.

r you guys okay?

From: Nat--4:50 p.m.

Dont do anything stupid, Kevin

Kevin didn't know how to respond, so he didn't.

The last sentence Nat said repeated in his head, and Kevin's stomach started aching with fear and regret.

This whole predicament was stupid. And he hurt Edd, the most stupid thing he could have done. He didn't mean to--he was just trying to solve a problem; get rid of all the drama that his past created.

If only he didn't try so hard to get Emma off his back; if only he didn't go behind Edd's back and solve shit.

If only Kevin didn't try to do everything by himself.

Kevin sighs and gets up from his uncomfortable seat in the waiting room. He needs to find a bathroom.

While looking for said bathroom, Kevin looked through his texts from the unknown number that Emma used to text him. He scrolls carelessly through the text messages she sent, not really paying attention to them, because he knows that he doesn't want to talk to Emma; doesn't want to think about Emma. Because when he thinks about Emma, he thinks about how helpless he was, and how she almost had her way with him. Which doesn't feel right, because all his life, Kevin was raised to think that guys can't get raped, which now seems totally controversial considering that he was only twenty minutes and no interruption away from actually being raped.

Kevin's head is hurting too much to keep thinking, but he rationalizes that that's what brains do. They process, the imagine, they think.

He needs a distraction.

As if on cue, Kevin smelled cigarettes.

He looked into the room to the left of where he was standing to see a big woman with short red hair leaning out of the window to her room, holding a cigarette. He walked over and knocked on her door, because in his mind, she seemed like the perfect distraction.

He expected her to turn around quickly, throwing her cigarette out the window and trying to look like she wasn't disobeying hospital rules, but she didn't. The woman turned calmly, showing off the cigarette between her first and middle finger.

Kevin watched from the doorway as the woman wrapped her bruised lips around the butt and breathed in slowly, her large bust heaving. When she breathed out, the smoke came from her oval mouth like a simmering geyser and rose until it passed her dark brown eyes that were framed with long, mascaraed lashes and lightly bruised eyelids.

"Isn't smoking prohibited?" Kevin asked.

The woman chuckles. "Only if somebody finds out, kid."

"I've never seen anyone smoke like that," he says.

"It's how they do it in France," she says. "Wanna try?"

Kevin thinks for a second. He's never smoked because his dad did, and he's always heard how disgusting it was in school; how it could cause cancer.

But, what the hell. He needs a distraction, right?

Kevin nods and walks into the room, closing the door behind him. The room smells like morphine and bitter smoke, but is empty of any personal items and clean white. He walks over to the window and takes the cigarette that is handed to him.

The woman smiles and leans her hip against the wall. "So, what brings you to the hospital this fine evening?"

Kevin's eyes go to the floor, and his heart aches. Pinching the butt with his forefingers and thumb, Kevin puts the cigarette between his lips and takes a deep breath. His lungs sting from the smoke and he coughs up all that he inhaled.

Tears make their way to his eyes from the fit and the woman laughs. "First time, eh?"

Kevin nods and is reluctant to take another drag. "I'm waiting for a friend to show up."

The woman takes out a pack of Marlboro Lights from behind a potted plant and lights one.

"A friend?"

"Yeah," he mumbles. "Why're you here?"

She laughs and breathes out smoke. "Just a real bad boyfriend, honey."

"He hit you?" Kevin asks. He feels stupid afterward, because it seems obvious that she was abused by her purple face and the red marks covering her arms and neck.

"A kid like you wouldn't understand," she winks. He could laugh at the irony of that statement.

Kevin shrugs and puts the cigarette between his lips again. He breathes in the smoke, and the tip lights up a dark red. It tastes different than he expected. He didn't really taste it before (since he was too busy choking on it), but it tastes bitter, like strong coffee. He breathes the smoke out of the window. It tastes disgusting coming back out.

Kevin looked out the window and into the sky as he took another drag. The stars looked prettier than ever, but it's the ambulance that pulls into the parking lot that ends up grabbing his attention.

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Hey, guys! So, I know this chapter isn't as long as I exaggerated it to be, but since school's over, I'll have a lot more time to publish chapters! So, I decided that why make you wait?

Thank you for waiting, and I'm sorry that my schedule was weird last week. My goal is to post on Mondays and Thursdays from now on.