Knock On Wood (BoyxBoy)

chapter thirty-one. edd.

Months have passed since that Halloween party, and it's finally the beginning of the new year--another new whole year for new choices, new decisions, new everything!  For example: you may make the choice to eat healthily or avoid illegal drugs or committing any felonies. Or you can decide to change your state of mind and become more open to new things or maybe change yourself for the better. So many possibilities, but I suppose that I'm lying saying everything became new.

Though, there are a few things that won't change this year. For example: the fact that Jared is in jail for this New Years or that what he had said to me will probably never change how I feel for Kevin.

Though, I'd be lying if I said that everything felt the same as it used to be.

"I know that it is futile to ponder what was said months ago," I say to Nat, nervously . "I completely understand that what Jared said was just to make me feel lesser than him, and should be disregarded as nonesense, but I just cannot stop thinking about what if he is right? What if I truely am a nuisance?"

"Edd, Kevin has never thought of you as a nuisance; nobody has!"

"I don't know, Nat... it's hard to believe such sometimes. Now that I look back on what has happened in past events, I'm seeing that I've been very needy."

"What?!" Nat gasps. "Edd, what are you talking about? You're not even close to being needy. Dude, you're the most selfless person I know!"

"Nat, I--"

"No, look, listen," Nat interrupts, setting down his coffee and leaning over the small table that the two sat at. "It's New Years Eve, okay?"

"And?" I ask, sipping from my cup of Dragonpearl hot tea.

"New Year means new start, right? Just forget about what was said during that stupid Halloween party, Jared was being stupid and went too far in saying what he did. That was last year. Just wipe it off, okay?"

"Nat, it isn't that easy."

"Why?"

"I can't just wipe away my insecurities, Nat," I sigh, setting my paper mug down firmly. "It takes time."

"But, it's been months," he whines.

"And, clearly, I need more."

"But how long?"

"I don't know, Nat," I sigh, rubbing my face. "I've never dealt with such negative emotions in quite some time."

"Alright," he says. "Here, I've got an idea: how about we head to your place, you can call over Kevin, you guys can do whatever you guys do--hint, hint--and then I can gather some friends to come over to yours and watch the ball drop tonight. Deal?"

"My house?" I ask, disregarding his earlier statement about Kevin and I. "Why my house?"

"Well, your house is pretty nice, and your parents won't be home for New Years. I figures you'd want some company to celebrate the coming of the new year, eh?"

"Hmmm..." I think. "I... suppose that wouldn't be too much of a problem."

"Really? Great!" Nat smiles and gets up, pushing in his tall chair. "Don't worry about food or anything; I've totally got all that covered."

He says that, I think. Though I will make a meal anyway, since I'm the host.

I nod and get down from my own chair.

Nat chugs the rest of his coffee and sighs. "Alright, let's roll."

•×•

The doorbells agrivating chime couldn't have been louder. Though, right now, it sounded heavenly.