Sherlock bounced his leg as he sat in his chair like usual, thinking hard as usual. He had a lot on his mind, trying to entertain himself as he waited for a case.
John was watching his friend, looking concerned. He was thinking as well, but of his younger friends love life, as per usual. As he usually was, he wanted to discover the truth, his friends reasoning behind locking his heart away.
So as he did everyday, he approached his friend, tea in hand as he sat in his chair, and asked the question both had gotten so tired of hearing, but John was desperate to know the truth. "Sherlock, why don't you believe in love?" He asked.
Sherlock, finally getting fed up with the constant question John had been nagging him with, responded with something other his usual response about sentiment and chemical imbalances. "I do believe." He murmured.
John looked at him with wide eyes. "You do? Then why don't you go find yourself a girl, or guy, or, whatever?" He asked.
"Because they're not her!" He said, standing up and pacing. "They're not her, they're not the girl I loved, none of them are even close to comparing to her!" He exclaimed, finally venting his frustration.
"Sherlock, who is 'her'?" John asked carefully, watching his friend.
Sherlock ran a hand over his face sighing. "Her name was Y/n...she was, perfect, in every way." He sighed, a sad smiling crossing his face as he remembered you.
"What happened Sherlock? Why was she so special?"
He sighed. "I'll start from the beginning then." He sighed and sat back down. "Y/n and I met at a very young age, 3. She was the only person who would stay with me through out our entire childhood." He smiled sadly.
"She was, wonderful, she had an amazing laugh that would always make me smile. It was just so, contagious." He smiled a bit more. "She was the only person who I considered a friend before you, and my dog. Oh the two of them were what kept me sane all those years as a child."
John listened intently to his friends story, happy he was opening up to him after all this time. Sherlock sighed and continued. "Around the age of 14, Mycroft pointed out that I was in love, after telling him how much I just wanted to hold Y/n in my arms when we were together, how hard it was to fight to urge to kiss her."
"After that I saw her in a whole new way, a new light. She seemed to have this glow around her, and I became so nervous that it didn't even take her a day to catch on. She asked me what was wrong and I couldn't do anything other than stutter before she kissed me to shut me up." He laughed softly.
"Oh that kiss, God that kiss." He smiled fondly. "It took me by surprise but I reacted so quickly she couldn't tell at all. Her lips were so soft and fit against me so well that I thought we were going to get stuck like that." He chuckled. "When she finally pulled back she hugged me, her small body wrapping around mine made me feel safe, it made me feel at home."
"After that day, the 17th of August, her and I began to date. She helped me in my cases when I was younger too, she was, well, you for my cases." He chuckled. "She was, my first everything." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "She was just perfect in every aspect." He smiled a bit.
"She sounds wonderful Sherlock, but, what happened?" John pressed, wanting to know what happened between sherlock and this woman.
"When we were both 21, we found out that I, for her pregnant. We were so happy, I was so in love with her, I didn't want anyone else but her, I knew that her and I would be together, that'd we'd have a family together. Everything seemed to be perfect."
"But?" John inquired.
"But, everything went wrong. Her pregnancy went fine, it was the day our son was born that it all went to shit." He sighed. "She was in immense pain through out labor, she almost broke my hand. She was in labor for 15 hours.
"When she pushed one last time, there was so much blood." He frowned. "The nurses cleaned up our son while the doctors tried to save her." He sniffled. "The last words she said were 'Name him after you, and remember that I'll always love you'." He sniffled and wiped his eyes. "And then she died, right there, my hand felt so much better but I felt a pain in my chest, a literal pain in my chest as the girl of my dreams died." He sighed and ran a hand over his face.
"Sherlock, I-I'm so sorry." John sympathized. "What happened to your son?" He asked.
"My son, who I named Scott, after me, like she wanted, came home with me after a few days." He told his friend. "I was, as my parents and hers said, an amazing father to him. They were so shocked that I never asked them for help. "When he was 1 and a half he said his first word, which was 'mom'. And it brought me the same pain in my chest that I felt the day I lost Y/n."
"As he got older he would always ask where his mother was, and I would tell him a better place. I told him stories about her, showed him pictures so he'd know who she was." He sniffled again. "And on his 2nd birthday I took him to the hospital, he was coughing up blood at 3 in the morning." Sherlock let out q shaky breath as his friend watched him go through the trama he had as a young adult.
"I found out he was sick, and we had to stay there. We were there for 5 months, every night I had to try to sleep through my son crying in agony from all the pain he was feeling." He said through tears, all the pain he had get those years ago returning, the sound of his sons cries and your screams filling info his ears.
"And then, just to make the pain even worse, my son and I were sitting in the large arm chair in the room, looking out at the city as the sun set. I was telling the story about how I told about how his mother and I fell in love like I had the previous year on August 17th." He shook as he fought back a sob.
"And you know what happened. He told me he saw her, right before he died. I lost my son, the product of my love for Y/n on the day I fell in love with her. The two people I loved in my life, taken away from me when I was only 24." He sobbed slightly.
Sherlock moved to speak again, but a sob racked through his body. John quickly set down his tea and moved to his side, hugging him to comfort him.
"It's not fair John!" He sobbed out. "It's just not fair!"
