A.N.: If I’m honest, I don’t know what this is. It’s pain. Not my own. Just stream of consciousness and pain.
The thing is, it was never supposed to be a thing. All of the sudden, one gloomy day, Niall just quit the band. He handed in a letter of resignation and deleted his Facebook and Twitter. He tossed the battery to his cell phone into one lake and the cell phone itself into another before he vanished, buying a one way ticket to a town he couldn’t pronounce with a language he couldn’t speak.
He met a gang of traveler hippies who called him Lucky and gave him an old guitar that they said belonged to Ringo. He took it without a word of question, joining their gang as they started to travel along the country side. They would make campfires in open fields, scavenging food and other things from nearby famers and just generally being loafers. It was easy.
Niall grew out his hair until he had a shaggy mane on his head and he slept with men whose name he couldn’t remember in the morning. He switched his suit and ties for hand-me-downs and frocks that were two sizes too big for him. He fell in lust with a man named Freddie who supplied the group with grass to get high and he always seemed to have some despite their never staying in one place and it would go like this. Niall would creep to Freddie’s tent after supper, if they had some, and after the campfire songs started to die down and they would smoke and make love until the sky turned from black to blue.
Niall hadn’t realized he’d been gone for a year until he happened to pass by a newspaper while they were heading through a town and the headline caught his eye because it was about him and how he was lost. Niall tore up the newspaper until it was confetti on the floor and he could only feel the weight leaving his heart when they left the town and started walking down a back road. Not many cars travelled on this road but the few that did either had people that asked them if they needed anything or people that yelled at them and threw things but they were used to it.
They had just been passed by a large bus when two honks sounded in the air and, looking behind, there was a second bus that pulled off to the side of the road. The first bus followed suit and the gang was surrounded by these two massive vehicles that could be carrying anything.
Niall tucked his head against Freddie’s neck since Freddie was giving him a piggy back ride because Niall was both dehydrated and totally underfed but Niall didn’t mind. It saved him the trouble of walking. He nuzzled his nose into Freddie’s neck absentmindedly as the gang chatted idly, stopping in step to group up until a voice called to them.
“Hello there. I was just wondering where you lot are going. See, we’ve got two buses which is more than enough to give you a lift to the nearest town. It’s just that it’s quite a ways away and we don’t want you catching heat stroke.” The voice was familiar to Niall but he couldn’t place his finger on it so he just ignored it, wrapping his arms tighter around Freddie’s neck.
“Naw, we’re alright, bro. But thanks for the consideration. You’re an alright kind of guy.” The leader of the ground, Hadrian, chirped.
“Although,” Freddie piped up and Niall could feel his words more than hear them as they vibrated through Freddie’s neck and into his mouth. “If you have any spare water bottles, I would gladly appreciate them. Lucky’s been a little bit of a fool.” Freddie’s hand ruffled Niall’s hair affectionately and Niall hopped off his back in retribution to feign insult.
“Course we do.” The man said again and, now that he could see, Niall looked over only to let out a choked gasp. He wiped at his eyes hard with his palm but there was no mistaking it.
Josh, the drummer for the band he had left, was standing by the bus, speaking into it for a moment before he was handed five water bottles. He walked back over, handing them out but he kept the last one until he walked up to Freddie. “Here you go.” He tried to hand it over but Freddie directed him to Niall and, as soon as his eyes landed on Niall, it was clear. Josh recognized Niall within a second of being in his presence and Niall couldn’t help but gape back, fingers shaking at his sides.
