The Selfish Submissive

Pet?

-Monica

It's been a week since I started distancing myself from Dylan. It's been hard because every time I'm around her my heart races. But since I set that invisible line between us she's been keeping things completely professional. She started treating me like a normal assistant there was no teasing, getting too close, or talking about how I dress. I did my best to only see Trinity when Dylan was at work or outside of the house so I didn't let myself get swept into her. 

You'd think this would be helping but it was only making me want her more. I longed for her to tease me how she did, for her to get close enough for me to smell her cologne, I missed seeing that dimple of hers when she did or said something that made me squirm. I missed her Dom energy making me feel weak. I needed to get it together.

"What's the plans for the weekend? Liam asked in the breakroom.

It was Friday afternoon the Diamonds and I were on our lunch break. I had started eating in the breakroom instead of with Dylan distancing myself even more.

 "Spend it here at the Dynasty, I replied. 

"Wow you really love your job don't you," Jade said. 

"I just show up when I'm scheduled to," I reply rolling my eyes. 

"Ya might want to check your schedule Friend," Hazel said.

Brian took his lunch out of the microwave and sat down next to Liam "Yeah right 'cause if you show up this weekend you're going to be the only one here," 

I looked at the Diamonds confused. 

"It's the 3rd weekend of the Month Scrumpet. We don't work this weekend remember," Liam said.

"Whatttttt we have the weekend off? I started to think all my weekends belong to the Dynasty now," I said shocked.

"Yeah it starts to feel like that, that's why Dylan made it so we had the 3rd weekend of every month off guaranteed. She wanted to make sure we all didn't get worn out, Brian informed me.

"Wow, that's really smart and considerate of her," I say.

I guess I hadn't really noticed that that was a thing before because I wasn't working that many events. But now that Dylan's trusting me more I've been working just as hectic of a schedule as her and the Diamonds. 

They went on to talk about their weekend plans when I suddenly realized something. I was going to be off this weekend I can finally go to the club. It's perfect timing too I have fallen too deep into this one-sided sub-story I have with Dylan. I can go to the club find my Dom or Mistress and end this before I completely lose all sight of reality.

I excuse myself from the breakroom and make my way outside to call the owner of the club. He's shocked to hear from me sure that I had given up but let me know that the Mistress is available tonight and the Dom is free Saturday for me to meet. I'm filled with nervousness and excitement it's finally happening. 

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Friday Night

I'm on my knees in front of her Goddess Saphire, the Mistress Sir Richards set me up with. She was a tall leggy brunette wearing a red leather dress and knee-length shiny black boots, and she was holding a crop in her hand. We were getting ready to run a scene to see how compatible we were. She had read over my charts and I hers we talked a little bit getting to know each other and honestly, I didn't feel anything. Her desires for a sub were different than I was use to but I was also trying to grow as a sub and get into the world deeper so I was willing to try.

She walked up to me and put a collar and leash on me. Goddess was into Pet play for the scene I would be her pet, Trixie. I had dogg ears on and a tail that wrapped around my waist I told her I wasn't comfortable with her using a butt plug on me just yet and she respected that. She walked me around the room giving me commands. I obediently crawled around for her wagging my tail, barking, begging, playing fetch. She put me in a cage and gave me a bowl to drink water out of. It felt stupid and embarrassing I was into being humiliated and degraded but I wasn't sure if I was feeling it. She asked me my color and I gave an honest yellow but I fought past it and  I lapped up the water obediently. She patted my head and parts of me felt happy. But then she called me a slut and a bitch and told me to lick her boots. I refused I'm not sure why I was ok with getting in a cage and drinking out of a dog bowl but licking boots was where I drew the line but it was. She ordered me to lick them again and I didn't budge she put her heels on my shoulders and pushed me down to the ground thinking I was testing her.  It was me kissing her feet it felt like the ultimate worship of a submissive literally kissing their Doms feet I just didn't feel like I could do that not with her not right now. I called red. 

She immediately stopped backing away from me and gave me my space. She leaned down and asked me if I was ok and I shook my head no. With one fell swoop, I was in her arms and she hugged me and told me that I was a good girl for trying. She said that she understood if this pet play wasn't for me and not to be ashamed for coding out. It was brave to do so and to know myself and my limits. I felt bad because technically she didn't do anything that I hadn't requested it just didn't feel right. She was great, nice, and hot but I just didn't feel it. Maybe it just takes time. I thanked her and asked her if we could maybe meet up again if things don't work out Saturday night and she agreed. She told me I was beautiful and that she would love to have me as a pet and she'd be patient enough to train me if I was willing.

I went home feeling defeated wondering if I even wanted to try again tomorrow. I started thinking of everything that happened tonight and wondered if would I have been ok with the things that happened if Dylan had done them to me. I ended up crying myself to sleep wondering if I was ever going to find a Dom that made me feel the way I wanted to feel. 

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Should Monica give Goddess Saphire another chance?