Don't Let Me Drown (Oli Sykes Fan Fic) COMPLETE

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Oli's alarm went off at 8am. We'd managed six hours sleep, so it was fine, though I would have killed to be able to have a lazy morning in bed with him... "Good morning." he said with a yawn as he stretched his arms up above his head. "Good morning." I said, still cuddled up to him, refusing to move for a moment. I didn't have to leave for fashion week until 10am and that was when he was heading to the airport for his 1pm flight too, so we had a couple of hours together. "Should I go and make us breakfast?" I asked, wondering if he was hungry.
"No, no. Let me take you out for breakfast." he said, flashing me a smile.
"Like a breakfast date?" I asked, trying not to show how cute I thought that was.
"Yeah, is there somewhere close?" he asked. There was a place right around the corner that I went to pretty often for coffee, so I told him. "OK, well whenever you're ready, we'll go." he said. I kissed him, rolled over and headed to my dresser to get an outfit ready, then laid it out on the bed before brushing my teeth. Oli was already up and dressed by time I was done. He threw this things back into his suitcase while I dressed and within 15 minutes of getting up we were out the door and walking down the street to my local cafe. We'd only walked about ten steps before Oli interrupted me with the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. "Can I hold your hand?" he asked as he walked beside me. I felt like a teenager and I felt my cheeks go red, but of course I looked over at him and said yes. "Of course you can." I replied happily, a little unsure why he asked. It was actually so cute that he'd asked permission. He smiled and grabbed my hand, linking his fingers into mine and we walked the block and a half to the cafe. We got a table up the back and both ordered the vegan corn fritters with beetroot relish and hummus - as well as coffees. Yum.

"So um, did you say you have time off in November?" Oli asked me randomly as we ate our breakfast. "Mmm... yeah I think two weeks or something like that. Why's that?" I asked in reply. He sipped his coffee and scrolled through his phone. "Well, maybe you'll think it's crazy and you can totally say no, but... would you want to come to Asia with me?" he asked, shooting his eyes up to mine from his phone.
"Asia?" I said questioningly.
"We're touring there for 10 days... Japan, Taiwan, somewhere else... then we're staying in Tokyo for a few extra days over my birthday." he explained. "You don't have to, but I'd like to take you." he added, scooping up a forkful of food into his mouth, still looking at me for an answer.
"Are you serious?" I replied. "I'll have to check the dates with Luiz, but that would be amazing!" I added with a smile.
"Really?" he asked, looking happy that I'd said yes. I just smiled and nodded. He started telling me about Japan and how much he loves it there, about the kooky stuff you can buy and see and the robot cafes - he clearly loved the robot cafes. We headed back to my apartment hand-in-hand, and this time he didn't ask permission.

We had about 40 minutes left before we had to say goodbye so I spent our last bit of time together chatting with Oli as I got ready for another day of fashion week. Of course I also cuddled up with him on the couch to get in as much affection as I could before our three weeks of not seeing each other. "Do you remember that night we went to Skrillex and I came and cuddled with you on the couch?" I asked him as I thought back to the only time in London that I'd really let my guard down with him. "Yeah, of course I do. You freaked out about it the next day." he said with an amused tone.
"Ugh, I was such a mess." I groaned. "I really did want to kiss you that night though, you know that right?" I said looking at him a little shyly.
"You almost did a couple of times..." he replied.
"I know..." I said with a laugh. I remembered that night so vividly, even though I was drunk.
"Do you know how hard it was for me?" he asked, kind of laughing a little. "I wanted to kiss you so fucking badly, but I knew it had to be your decision, so I had to keep stopping myself." he added with a laugh. It was nice to hear him say that. He was so considerate. "The boys thought I was fucking insane for not just going for it. They were giving me shit the entire time you were with us cus they knew I was into you." he laughed.

It was weird to hear him say that, to admit that he had always been into me. I guess it wasn't that surprising, deep down I knew it but had chosen to pretend he didn't. "Well, you shouldn't regret it - at least you can kiss me now." I replied playfully.
"Oh, I don't." he replied with a smile. "I loved getting to know you without any physical stuff getting in the way. The only thing I regret is not saying anything to you when I left." he added, suddenly looking serious. "That moment fucking haunts me. I can't believe I just walked away from you when I felt something so..." he trailed off. I wondered what word he was going to use there? Strong? Beautiful? Intense? I wished he'd finished his sentence. I could hardly believe how open he was being though... it was so nice. I leaned up and kissed his chin to let him know it was OK to talk about it, that it didn't scare me. "I knew it wasn't coincidence that our paths crossed so many times... I knew from the moment I met you that I was meant to meet you." he said. "But anyway..." he said loudly, quickly backing away from saying anything else, like he thought he was getting too honest and would scare me off if he admitted too much. "I remember that night you drunk cuddled me and I liked it a lot." he said playfully. I laughed and propped myself up so I could kiss him. God I felt so carefree around him. Being with him was so easy.

As 10am got closer, I started feeling sad. I hated goodbyes, but saying goodbye to him was the worst - especially now that I was developing real feelings. "It's only three weeks." he whispered as I squeezed him tightly. He was right, but even though we'd gone so long without saying a single word to each other, now that we were closer than we'd ever been, three weeks felt like an eternity. "Do you know how sexually frustrated I'm going to be after three weeks without you?!" I joked, trying to lighten the mood and save myself from being totally down in the dumps. He laughed in shock at my comment and shook his head at me. "What have I turned you into?!" he asked with a laugh. I laughed too because he was right, I had never been like this with anyone. "Seriously though, does that mean you don't want to be with anyone else?" he asked playfully, almost in a teasing kind of way. It wasn't until that moment that I realised I had informally and unknowingly suggested exclusivity. "Oh, well, um... I don't know, I don't think so, but you can do whatever you want... if you want to." I rambled like an idiot.
"Joy," he said as he grabbed my face in his hands. "I don't want to be with anyone else either." he said before kissing my forehead. I felt my cheeks flush as I pressed my face into his chest. Hearing him say that felt undeniably wonderful and believing that he meant it made it feel even better.

We headed downstairs at 10am and jumped into a cab together. It would drop me off at Bryant Park for fashion week before whisking Oli off to the airport and back to his tour. We pulled up to the kerb after ten minutes and I let out a heavy breath knowing it was time to say goodbye. "Well, I guess this is me." I said as I held onto his hand. I didn't want to let it go. He told me to have an amazing day and that three weeks would go fast. I didn't quite believe him, but I nodded anyway. I kissed him quickly and jumped out of the cab knowing that prolonging the moment would only make it worse. "Have a safe flight. See you in three weeks." I said back through the window.
"I can't wait." he replied with a smile. I tapped the roof of the cab and waved as he pulled away and once again, I was on my own. I was sad that Oli was gone, but I was OK. I trusted that he wasn't going to do anything to hurt me and I believed him when he said he couldn't wait to see me again. I headed into model check in and I was happy as I mentally prepared myself for another full day of runway shows.