Don't Let Me Drown (Oli Sykes Fan Fic) COMPLETE

DESTROYING YOUR CAREER

Having Tom in town for the night was nice and after a sleep in the following morning, we had breakfast at the hotel together too. Tom headed back to Sheffield after checking out while I got ready for my final photoshoot and second last event before the runway show. I swear I had never done so much press for one brand in such a short span of time, but I guess that was what I was being paid for! I said goodbye to Oli for a few hours, and headed off to work with Luiz once again.

All of the models participating in the fashion show were involved in the final photo shoot and press call that afternoon at the Bond street store; the first and so far only company store in the UK. Naturally, the super famous models were front and centre, and even though I did make the front row this time around, I was on the very end - out of frame for the closer, cropped in shots of the A-list models. I guess I didn't mind though, it was my first time with the brand after all so I was just happy to be there. There were so many flashes going off as we got into position on the sidewalk outside the store that it was almost blinding, and once we were all in place, it was absolutely insane. There must have been about 100 photographers all squashed up against a barrier, with fans and passers-by behind them and squeezing in at the sides too. I could only imagine this was how Oli felt when he was on stage looking at people on the barrier! It was hectic but I smiled and waved as we were instructed to do. The CEO of the brand; Ed, came out after a while and waved, quickly talked about the show the following night, then decided to pull a publicity stunt by releasing coupons for free products from the second story window and that's when things got crazy. The frenzied chaos of people trying to get their hands on the papers trickling down from the sky was giving me anxiety, the cameras were clicking away faster than lightning and then Ed stepped in with the models and the photographers went absolutely nuts. It just felt a bit out of control and I wasn't even on the crazy side of the barriers! I was standing there, trying to maintain my character and appear happy and un-phased by the chaos and that's when I noticed a girl in the front, against the barrier. She looked like she was in trouble and my heart started racing. I had only just noticed her when a photographer literally knocked her camera out of her hands in the frenzy and I watched it smash on the concrete. I hadn't even had time to feel bad before I watched her get knocked again, and this time it was her that went down to the ground. It was like she went in slow motion as she fell and I know I wasn't smiling or looking forward at the cameras anymore, my eyes would have been wide and full of concern as I watched it all unfold. I felt my heart race as she landed hard behind the barrier with seemingly nobody noticing or caring, so without even thinking, I ran over to try and help her. It was all instinct.

"Get back, get off of her! She can't get up!" I screamed at one of the photographers with zero regard to how many phones were recording me, how many cameras were photographing me or how many sets of eyes were witnessing me screaming at the media. I know I was meant to be portraying this image of a perfect woman who didn't put a foot out of place, but this girl was going to get completely crushed if I didn't do something! I could hear the commotion and I felt the flashes on me as I squatted down to try and help her through the barrier but I didn't care. I wasn't thinking about my job at that moment because someone was in distress. "Are you OK?" I asked through the metal bars as people made some space. She looked at me with tears flowing down her face and nodded, but she looked so afraid. She must have only been about fourteen or fifteen years old and I felt so bad as I saw the camera on the ground with a few bits broken off and scattered around. I helped her up then picked up the pieces of her camera that were around me. "I'm so sorry about your camera. I hope you can get it fixed." I said to try and lessen the blow of everything that happened to her. She quickly said thank you, then disappeared into the crowd and I exhaled heavily. It wasn't until that moment, when the situation was over that I realised everyone was looking at me and snapping photos. Shit. It was like everything had stopped and all eyes were on me and I felt extremely self-conscious. As I turned back to the perfectly lined-up group of fellow models, I felt their eyes; many of them glares, and the look Ed was shooting me was one of anger and rage. I felt like the entire world was staring at me as I stood there frozen, unsure if I should say something or just get back into position and pretend it never happened. I felt incredibly exposed. It was probably only only a few seconds, but it felt like hours that I stood there trying to figure out what to do next, but before I had a chance to make that decision, it was made for me. Ed called over a security guard and he approached me to usher me away, back into the store where we'd come from just five minutes earlier. I was so confused over what was going on but it all happened so fast. Maybe I'd have to give a statement to the police or something? I shouldn't have to miss the photoshoot though!

Luiz came running up to me almost immediately with the weirdest expression on his face and he pulled me out of view of the press, into a quieter area. "Joy..." he said as he grabbed his forehead in worry. "What were you thinking?!" he asked. I had no idea what was going on.
"What? What do you mean? Thinking about what?" I questioned frantically. Why was I not outside?! Did they think I was injured or something? Did they think they needed to check that I was OK?
"Joy, you just ruined a very expensive press moment... You upstaged the CEO right as he was doing his big publicity stunt and made everyone wait for you... and you screamed at the media who were invited guests of this event!" he exclaimed. I couldn't understand, nothing that he was saying was making sense or sinking in. "I know you didn't do it on purpose, but they'll probably kick you out of the show for this!" he stated with so much concern. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I would lose my job for helping someone?! It was absurd and I was angry, but it was also really scary. I couldn't believe I had fucked up everything with the French Fashion Federation and now, I had potentially fucked up my big gig; the one that was my path to stardom, my potentially life-altering one with the lingerie brand. If I got kicked out of another show, I would be tainted! My value would decline at a rapid rate and I could easily end up out of work... but seriously? I was just trying to help someone. "She could have been really badly hurt, Luiz!" I squealed.
"I know, Joy. I know..." Luiz said as he grabbed his head in worry again.
"OK, how do I fix this? Should I go back out?" I asked Luiz anxiously.
"No! Definitely not. Just stay here, I'll speak to Ed when they're done." he replied. I felt like absolute shit.

Luiz paced back and forth while I watched the photoshoot outside from a side window of the store. I was upset that I was inside and honestly, still kind of confused about what I'd done wrong. I know that I had disrupted the shoot, but would they have preferred someone die at their event? Would they prefer a dead teenager associated with their name? When the shoot ended and the models came inside, a couple of them hugged me quickly without saying anything, but most of them just ignored me. Some even glared at me and I felt terrible. Luiz went to speak with the CEO and management as soon as they came inside, while I just stood there feeling like I could fucking cry. I saw Luiz returning after a few minutes so I took a deep breath. I wasn't prepared to hear that I'd been dropped from yet another important job. "Joy, you need to go and apologise to Ed right now. Be really sympathetic. Cry if you can!" Luiz instructed as he raced over to me. Cry? Was he insane? I did need to try and fix things though so without having any time to think, I went over and apologised. I said I was sorry, that it wasn't my intention to disrupt the shoot and the I had to sand there and listen to the CEO call me selfish and unprofessional. Luiz told me to cry, but honestly, I was more likely to scream than put on the waterworks. Ed practically made me beg him to stay in the show which was humiliating, but by the end of the apology and scalding, he said it would be too late to drop me anyway so I wouldn't lose my spot. That wasn't very reassuring for future work with the brand, but Luiz was still relieved when I told him.

I awkwardly tried to mingle in store with the other models and invited guests, but I felt really out of place. It felt like everyone else got along and I was an outcast, this bad person that nobody wanted to be seen with after what had just happened, like they'd be guilty by association or something. I smelled products and picked up things to make myself look busy, but I felt invisible. I also felt guilty and even though I wasn't showing it, I was really fucking upset. Luiz was schmoozing with the management, probably trying to get my name out of the dirt as much as he could, so I was alone until one of the head models; one of the super famous girls named Rosie, came over to me and said hello. For a second, I actually thought she was going to scorn me for what I'd done outside, but she hugged me out of absolutely nowhere and told me she would have done the exact same thing if she'd seen it happen. I wondered if she meant that, but I think she was famous enough that she probably wouldn't have gotten in trouble for it anyway. I thanked her and she chatted to me for a while before Luiz told me our ride back to the hotel arrived. She said she'd see me at the final event the following day and I left feeling slightly better than I thought I would. At least someone wasn't afraid to be seen talking to me.

In the car, Luiz was already writing statements, asking me what I wanted to say about what I'd done and looking for footage of what had happened, ready to give his comment to any media outlets that posted about it. Apparently there was already a lot. Honestly, I hated that side of being in the public realm; the having to answer to everything you do, but I was honest and just said that if I saw someone in trouble that it was my nature to help. Luiz suggested I put out a statement or something, but I zoned out as he talked. I just sat staring out the window, feeling really shitty, desperately wanting to be in my room with Oli, away from the world, away from the press and even away from Luiz. I needed to get away from all of it.