SPILLING THE TEA

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My phone rang almost right at the same moment that I told myself I was going to have a great day, so I headed to the bedroom and sat on the bed; still messed up from where we'd slept, woken in a panic and, well, done other things... twice.

"Hey girl! Happy Fashion Week!" Behati sang down the line once I'd answered.
"Hey Be, how are you?" I asked.
"I'm great, but more importantly, how are you?" she asked.
"I'm good." I replied. I didn't want to be too obvious.
"So, how was your night with Oli?" she asked eagerly, pressing for more. I smiled to myself as everything we did flashed through my mind.
"I feel like you were literally probably thinking about us all day wondering what we were up to..." I said with a chuckle.
"I kind of was!" she stated. God she was funny.
"Well it was a good day, we had fun." I replied.
"Really? Just good?" she asked with a hint of disappointment in her tone. I laughed again.
"OK, we had a great day and an even better night. Happy now?" I asked with a chuckle.
"Ohhh... the party!" she exclaimed, remembering we were going. "How was it?" she asked. It was only then that I remembered that Oli had punched my ex in the face.
"OH MY GOD! I have to tell you... Steve was there." I said in an unimpressed tone.
"Steve as in fuckhead ex Steve?!" she snapped.
"Yep." I replied. "Oli punched him in the face!" I said like I was telling her the hottest piece of gossip ever.
"WHAT?! HOLY SHIT!" Behati screamed. "Wait, what do you mean? How? Why?" she asked eagerly.
"He called me a slut and Oli absolutely lost it." I explained.
"Oh my god. Well, fuck him, and um, that's really cute that Oli stood up for you!" she said, a hint of that usual sass creeping into her voice again.
"I know. He really stood up for me and even though it was scary in the moment, I can't deny how nice it was to see Steve finally get what he deserves." I said with a heavy exhale. It still made me so happy that he did.
"So other than that, how was your night?" she asked.
"It was great." I said, unable to stop a little smile appearing on my face again.
"You sound like you're smiling... wait, what happened? Oh my God, did something happen? Did you kiss him?!" she asked. I could hear the excitement in her voice and I laughed shyly. I knew she would absolutely lose it when I told her what had happened...
"Actually, I slept with him." I replied, waiting for her reaction.
"WHAT?" she asked loudly down the line, followed by silence.
"I slept with him. We had sex." I replied. She was silent again for a moment.
"OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDDD!!!!!" she screamed down the line. I moved my phone away from my ear to save her from bursting my eardrum and I laughed at how excited she was.
"Oh my god!" she squealed. "Wait, is he there?!" she suddenly asked.
"No, no. He had to head back up to meet the guys and get to Boston for a show tonight." I replied. As I said it, the words sunk in and I felt a little disappointed.
"Holy fucking shit! I can't believe you... Oh my god!." she said trailing off, clearly in a state of shock. "So was it good? Tell me everything!" she demanded. I could imagine her throwing herself onto the couch and getting comfortable; ready to hear all of the dirty details of my night of passion with Oli.
"It was amazing." I replied, feeling my cheeks go red. Behati was laughing on the other end of the line.
"Amazing? Did he make you...?" she said, trailing off with a sly tone.
"Yeah, he did. Both times..." I said shyly. She started laughing and squealing. God I wish she was actually in the room with me, her reactions were so hilarious.
"WAIT! BOTH TIMES?!" she screamed loudly.
"Last night and this morning, actually, he got me off twice last night!" I admitted with a chuckle. My face was on fire.
"Oh my godddddd!" she squealed with laughter. "Who instigated it? Who made the first move?" she asked next.
"I don't really know." I admitted. "I kissed him on the walk home, but when we got back we were on the couch reminiscing about London... and I think he kissed me." I explained. "He looked so fucking good and he said he's wanted me since London, so I just got on top of him and started removing his clothing." I said with a little laugh as I remembered what I'd done.
"GIRL, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!" Behati screamed. I was a little surprised at my actions when I thought about how I'd just gone for what I wanted without hesitation.
"Next thing I know, I'm practically naked and then I had my hand in his pants and... everything else just happened." I said.
"That is so hot. I'm sooooo happy for you!" she squealed. "But remind me not to sit on your couch." she joked. I laughed along.
"No, the main action happened on the bed, don't worry." I laughed. Just talking about it was making me feel giddy again. "God it was soooo good, Be. I felt amazing." I said exhaling loudly.
"Wow." Behati said. "You never think it's that great. This is so exciting." she laughed.
"It was the best sex I've ever had." I admitted honestly.
"Really?" she quipped.
"Definitely. I don't even know how to explain it..." I said.
"I do. Multiple orgasms!" she replied with laughter. I just shook my head.
"Well apart from that." I said. "It was like... I don't know, it wasn't rushed and there was lots of kissing and touching. It felt really intimate and passionate." I said.
"Aww... it just means you were super in sync and comfortable with each other." she replied. "Which does not surprise me at all, because I'm pretty sure that deep down you're completely in love with each other." she said. I ignored that particular comment since that was just crazy talk.
"So did you get lots of cuddles and cuteness?" Behati asked.
"Yeah, the way he held me made me feel happy." I said. I couldn't deny that. I don't think I'd ever felt so appreciated after sleeping with someone before. "It just seemed like he cared, even though it's just, you know, we were just having fun." I said as my cheeks grew warm again.
"Wait, let me stop you there." she said abruptly. "Just having fun?" she questioned.
"Well I mean, we hooked up but we're not in a relationship." I replied.
"Mmm... no, but I don't think either of you would really just call it 'a bit of fun'." she said, not entirely agreeing with the way I was explaining the situation. I thought about what she said and I guess she was right; it wasn't just a night of fun for me. I didn't know what it was, but I wouldn't class it as a one night stand. Well, unless he never contacted me again I guess...
"I think I like him, Be." I said softly, finally admitting the way I felt.
"Oh, I know you do. You've always liked him." she said gently. I guess maybe she was right.
"Oh God..." I said with a sigh, finally admitting that I had developed feelings. I had just made myself vulnerable and opened myself up to being hurt and I knew it, but there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. "When are you seeing him again?" she asked.
"I don't know." I replied. "Whenever we both have days off and are in the same place I guess." I added. I felt sad about it to be honest. I wished I could see him again already. "When he left he promised it wasn't going to be like London... He said he wasn't going to disappear this time." I said, remembering his words.
"Well that's a good sign!" she said reassuringly. She gave me a bit more of a pep talk and just told me to be open and to make time to message him, to make sure he knew that I was thinking about him and that I wanted to get to know him more. I felt like I already knew him, but I knew what she meant; he needed to know that I cared. 

I said goodbye to Be and told her that I'd see her that night since we were both attending an industry party to kick off Fashion Week. In all of the craziness of the past few days, I realised that I hadn't even given Oli my phone number before he left. I guess I hadn't really needed to since I'd been with him the entire time and before that we were only on Instagram talking terms. I opened Instagram and saw that he had sent me a DM while I'd been on the phone with Behati; a photo of the streets of New York with a sad face under it and the words 'I hate that I had to leave.' I hated it too to be honest, especially since everything ended up being such a rush, but maybe it was better that way? Maybe time would have just made it harder – or more awkward. I sent him back a sad face and told him I wished he could have stayed, and I gave him my phone number before I forgot again.

He texted me almost straight away; saying that he missed me already, but that he hoped I'd have fun over the next week. He also told me to 'kill it' on the runway, which made me giggle. He was being really sweet and it was reassuring to know that he understood how busy I was going to be during Fashion Week, and why I wouldn't always be able to reply straight away.

I sent Luiz a message informing him that I had things to tell him when we met before the runway, and then I went and took a long, hot shower. I thought about everything that had happened as I washed my hair, how he was in my shower less than an hour ago... I was surprised at how the night had turned out, but I had no regrets. If anything, sleeping together brought us closer;  literally and mentally, but it truly did blur the line between friendship and something more. I guess now I felt like I could be open to the second one of those options, even though it would be pretty tough due to the constant travelling and distance, but I wasn't going to stress myself out over-thinking it. I would let fate take it's course and wait to see what happened next.

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