Don't Let Me Drown (Oli Sykes Fan Fic) COMPLETE

A RISING STAR

I managed to get a few hours sleep on my way back to New York and the flight was pretty uneventful since it was overnight but I still felt like death when I walked out of arrivals at JFK. My mood shot up when I saw familiar faces though; Behati and Hannah standing at the exit with a welcome home poster with my name on it. They were there to pick me up, but they knew about the last message I'd sent to Oli and I guess they knew I'd have mixed emotions about arriving back in New York. I loved that they were excited to have me back though... honestly, I was happy to be back with them. We headed into Manhattan and they showed me to the new apartment we were going to share. It was just as average as the last one we lived in, but in the trendy Tribeca area which was amazing. I settled in easily and as much as New York had brought me a lot of pain over the years, I felt like the eight months I'd spent away had made it feel easier, different. New York was the closest thing to home that I had, so I was happy to be back there. 

It was my favourite time of year with Christmas decorations lining Fifth avenue, ice-skating rinks set up at Bryant park and the Rockefeller centre and the steam coming up from the subway always reminding me of movies of yesteryear. As much as I wanted to go straight out exploring, I settled for dinner with the girls at a funky, local restaurant since I only had one day before my meeting with the Vogue people. I spent a lot of time catching up on sleep, relaxing and making sure I looked my absolute best over the next 24 hours and before I knew it, it was the morning of the big day. I headed to my modelling agency's headquarters and was swiftly whisked off to the Vogue office in lower Manhattan. For some reason, I wasn't really nervous and even though you'd maybe think it was strict and snobby there - I mean, we've all seen the movies - it wasn't at all. People were friendly enough and the casting call couldn't have gone much smoother. I walked in shoes worth thousands of dollars and tried on gowns that cost more than a new car... it was crazy. Three days after landing back in New York, I was officially signed on to appear in an editorial for Vogue Italy, and it was the most surreal feeling. I was proud and excited and the girls took me out to celebrate once it was all official. Both of them were genuinely happy for me, but I have to admit that it brought a little bit of sadness out of me too. It had been a really long time since something so big had happened in my life and I wished my Mum was still around to share the moment with me. She would have been so proud to see me achieving my dreams. I called my Aunt back in Australia seeing as she was the one who got me into modelling and I think she almost fell on the floor when I told her I'd made it into Vogue. I told her I'd go to visit sometime soon, even though I had no idea when. It had been years. I'd never been back since I left all those years ago.

Over the next couple of weeks I started getting more job offers. A lot more job offers. I'm not sure whether the word had gotten out that I had been hand-selected by Vogue for an editorial or whether someone at the agency was telling people, but it was crazy. In the past, I had to apply for jobs and just turn up at casting calls, but now people were specifically requesting me for things. It seemed so strange to me! Maybe once Vogue was in my portfolio I would understand, but before I'd even done the shoot? It felt like I was actually getting somewhere in my career. The jobs offers I was getting were for bigger brands and better clients too, some runway shows for smaller designers and photo shoots for some well-known brands... I did a campaign for Ray Ban and even made it onto a billboard in Times Square! I felt so famous.

My status in the modelling world seemed to keep rising and it wasn't long before I was getting enough work to pay my rent, go out with the girls and still actually start saving for a place of my own. The shoot for Vogue was incredible and exactly as you would expect; the best stylists, make-up artists and photographers you could ever imagine - and the most amazing, expensive outfits from the world's biggest fashion houses. I got flown to Miami to work with two photographers who were highly regarded in the industry and I was dressed in Gucci, Chanel, Armani... just to name a few. I felt like a million dollars as I pranced around in the sand and posed on the beach in exuberant outfits. My social status started rising with my career too, with invites suddenly appearing for magazine parties, opening nights and product launches. I attended as many events as I could to gain exposure and I met some great people who could further my career too. I started brushing shoulders with biggest celebrities and bigger names, and I noticed my Instagram growing quite quickly along with everything else too. I'd gone from 38k when I first arrived in London to 103k by time I left thanks to Skrillex, and now, since doing Vogue, I was sitting at just over 200k. It might seem like nothing, but your online presence plays a big role in the modelling world and opens the door to influencer possibilities too. The money you can make by promoting a brand is actually kind of crazy! By the end of February, I was doing two to three jobs a week and networking at least once or twice a week at a press event or party. I usually took Behati as my 'date' to the events I got invited to, which also started pushing her status up and creating more work for her too. Everything seemed to be falling into place and we were both feeling great about our careers.

Hannah had started seeing a guy who worked at a law firm while I was in London, and she was only ever at the apartment for a few days during the week – she spent most weekends with him, and she'd taken a back seat with her modelling. She was happy for Behati and I, as we were for her, but we felt her drifting further away from us and we were a little worried about what would happen if they didn't work out. Of course, we hoped she had found her happily ever after, but I guess I'm always sceptical after everything that happened to me. Behati started to change too, but I couldn't put my finger on why or how. I just started to notice her doing little things like leaving the room to answer her phone, which she never did... that and she just had a different kind of mood for a while. It wasn't jealousy or anything negative aimed at me, but I wasn't sure what it was and it bothered me a bit. I asked her if everything was OK many times and she always said yes, so I didn't push. I worried though.

Apart from a few little concerns for my friends, life was great. I went to a photography exhibition one Friday with photographers, stylists and industry professionals and ended up in a circle with some pretty famous people, including the manager of some of the biggest models in the world. Luiz was his name. He was a powerhouse and was kind of a big deal to work with and the first thing he said to me was that 'they would love me in LA'. I thought nothing of it at the time seeing as he was based there, but I started hearing it more and more and one day; about two weeks after the initial comment, I got a call from the manager of my modelling agency asking me if I was interested in transferring to Los Angeles. It was really out of the blue and I had never really thought about it before, but Luiz had contacted the agency and told them that he wanted to personally represent me. I was dumbfounded. This was a man who had managed the biggest models in the world and he had decided he wanted me as his new project. He apparently had a massive job that I was perfect for and 'hundreds' of others, and that I should consider moving to LA for them. I was really taken back because things were going so well in New York, but working with Luiz was an opportunity of a lifetime so I had to consider it.

When Behati got home, I told her what had happened that day and then laughed. As if I was going to leave New York when things were going so well – and leave my best friend as well, right? I suppose I wanted to gauge her reaction to be honest. Behati looked at me with a wide-eyed, thoughtful stare and I thought she was going to cry. "What?" I asked her. She put down her glass, walked over and hugged me tightly.
"Please accept it." she said into my shoulder. 'What?' I thought. Why on earth did she want me to accept the transfer and move to the other side of the country? I actually felt betrayed at first, like she wanted to get rid of me... but then she told me  something that changed everything. She told me that she wanted to move back to LA herself. I mean, she was originally from California, Irvine to be exact; a nothing special town a couple of hours from Los Angeles, but things were going so well for both of us in New York, I couldn't really understand why. I felt sick at the thought of her moving to California and me being alone permanently. I thought back to London and how it felt being there all alone when she left, and it made me feel queasy. As I was standing there thinking about never wanting to be so alone again, Behati burst into tears. I had no idea what was going on, but I automatically hugged her. "Joy, my Mum has breast cancer." she confessed suddenly. I moved back and stared at her with my mouth open and I felt tears welling in my eyes. "I need to go back to California to be near her." she added. In that moment I forgot about our careers and about my selfish thoughts of her leaving me, and I hugged her.

We sat and talked about everything; her Mum, our careers, our options... I was always told that New York and Paris were the meccas of fashion, that it's where you 'have' to base yourself if you want to make it, but here I was being offered Los Angeles on a platter. Not to mention Behati's Mum. The agency sent me information about the contract, a couple of jobs I would be dropped straight into, also about the apartment I would get to live in, which was in West Hollywood and so much nicer than in New York. I would be represented by the best in the business and probably have a lot of opportunities... Behati and I also both knew that Hannah wasn't really depending on us anymore for somewhere to live, so once again, we decided that we would leave New York.