Don't Let Me Drown (Oli Sykes Fan Fic) COMPLETE

WHO WILL FIX ME NOW?

Oli and I spent the rest of the afternoon talking about all sorts of things as we cuddled on the couch and watched our movie. He talked about how the tour was wrapping up and how he'd  have a lot of free time, and that he wanted to open a bar in his hometown. He also said that he was going to follow me around the world - I knew he was kidding, but he was serious when he said he'd come over to New York whenever I had time off.

The conversation eventually led to music and Oli started talking about writing a new album. He told me that he'd already written a tonne of lyrics, and he admitted that he wrote a lot after the night he'd seen me at the Alternative Press awards.
"I saw your post. I thought it looked like lyrics on a napkin..." I said. I think he was surprised that I'd noticed them to be honest, but he confirmed they were lyrics and that they were about me, or 'us'. He said they weren't angry, but were more about how he'd fucked up everything with me and it just made him have a lot to write about. "Well you obviously didn't fuck it up..." I quipped.
"I know, but I really thought I did." he said honestly. I found it so interesting when he talked about song writing, and what inspired him.
"Do you want to hear something?" he asked suddenly with a smile.
"Yeah, of course!" I said.
"I wrote a tonne of stuff when I was fresh out of rehab and there was one song I really liked, so we actually recorded it in LA. I only got it back from production yesterday." he said as he retrieved his phone from his jeans pocket. He seemed really proud. "Oh my god!" I said excitedly.
"I think we're going to release it soon as a stand-alone single. But you'll be the first non-band person to hear it finished." he said with a smile.
"You're gonna let me listen to it?" I asked excitedly.
"Yeah..." he said kind of shyly. I leaned over and kissed his cheek without thinking, I guess kind of as a Thank you. I felt so honoured that he was trusting me. He hovered over the play button on his phone, took a deep breath, and then touched his finger to the screen. "It's called 'Drown'." he said. The music flooded out of the phone and I loved it straight away. It was softer than what I was used to from Oli, but seemed to maybe be about his battles after London. I put my head onto his shoulder and shut my eyes listening to the words.

When the song came to an end, I just looked at him and smiled. "Oli, it's beautiful." I said honestly. It was truly a masterpiece and I could imagine so many people relating to it and singing along to it. "I absolutely love it." I added.
"Thanks. I don't know if I should tell you, but... you were in my head when I wrote it." he said softly. "It's kind of like, when I was around you I felt happy and I wasn't using, and then when I'd fucked it all up, I guess that's where the 'who will fix me now', and 'save me from myself' lines kind of came from...." he admitted. "I mean it wasn't your fault, and I don't want to freak you out, but yeah... you were kind of like saving me without even knowing it so when I left, I had nobody to save me anymore." he exhaled. For the first time in a long time, he scratched the back of his head nervously. I just sat there for a minute, totally unsure how I felt.
"I don't know what to say." I said. I actually felt touched, but a little emotional, and even though he said it wasn't my fault, somehow I felt kind of guilty. I wished I could have helped him when he had been in such an awful mental place.
"I'm sorry." he said. "I didn't mean to... I shouldn't have told you." he said quietly.
"No, it's OK." I said, grabbing his arm.
"No, I'm sorry, nothing was ever your fault or anything. I didn't ever hear it as anything other than self-reflection, but now I can hear something else. I won't even release it. I'll destroy it." he said, clearly freaking out.
"Oli, don't be silly. It's amazing..." I said honestly seeing the anxiousness in his expression. "I'm not upset, just processing." I added with a smile. "Nobody has ever written anything even remotely about me before." I said with a smile. He just looked at me and stared for a while, I suppose trying to read if I was upset or not. "Oli, I'm not upset. I guess it's just weird that you wrote something sort of about me." I said with a little laugh.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"I promise. I love the song." I replied. "I just have to get used to the idea of being your muse or whatever." I said jokingly with a giggle; to lighten the mood.
"Oh, just wait for the next album then." he said with a laugh. "I just won't tell you which ones you inspired." he added, finally seeming OK with everything.
"Uh, well as long as they're not like Antivist or something." I chuckled.
"No, I think the next one is going to be a lot... softer." he said. "Can you imagine? People are going to hate it if I stop screaming and being angry." he laughed.
"Well some will hate it, but others will love it, so you just do whatever the hell you want." I said reassuringly.
"Yeah and as long as you like it, fuck everyone else." he said kissing me on the lips. "Are you sure you don't hate the song?" he asked again. I just laughed.
"Oli, I love the song. Honestly. It's amazing." I replied reassuringly.

I felt as though our afternoon together was strengthening our bond and bringing us so much closer together. All the talk of the future, the comparing schedules and now the fact that he was talking about his new album like I was going to be part of it in some way... I couldn't help but smile. I felt silly for thinking he didn't want me just yesterday, because all I got from him today was that he wanted me in his life, and it made me happy.

"Oli... I think we should go and get ready for this party I have to go to." I added. "You've already been introduced to my life a little today and I think you're ready for the next part." I said with a smile. "I do have a question for you though, a serious one..." I said. I knew I had to address the paparazzi situation with him. "When we go to this party, there will be paparazzi outside. I mean, it's just that if we walk in together, they could start harassing you, and people might start talking. I just don't want your life turning into a circus because you are hanging out with me." I said honestly.
"Well I obviously don't mind being seen with you, but I don't know how I'd go with them if they decided to start following me around." he admitted.
"Yeah that's what I thought..." I said. "You don't need that. Maybe we should ask Luiz what he thinks. He always knows what to do." I said.
"I'm happy with whatever he thinks is best." he replied.
"OK., well lets head over there, we can have a few drinks and talk to him while I'm getting my hair done." I said, now jumping off the couch and heading to the bedroom to get changed into something 'outside appropriate'. "You know it's hosted by Rihanna..." I yelled out from the bedroom. "So you can pretty much wear whatever." I added.
"Well Thank God for that." he said as he appeared in the bedroom. He pulled out some clothes and started changing and I watched him through the mirror. God he was so fucking sexy. "Damn." I said cheekily as his shirt came off over his head. He laughed and when he was dressed, he came over and hugged me from behind. "I need to learn some self control." I said as I removed his arms from me. "No, you don't." he chuckled.
"Oh my God. Let's go before I get myself into trouble." I said laughing at how ridiculous I behaved around him.

We took a taxi to Luiz's hotel ready to start get glammed up for our night out. I only hoped that Oli wouldn't be too shell-shocked by the world that I was used to.