Don't Let Me Drown (Oli Sykes Fan Fic) COMPLETE

LONG TIME NO SEE

When we arrived at the after party, I gave Luiz strict instructions to make me leave after an hour. I really had to be responsible and get a decent nights sleep before the next event – which was literally in about 18 hours time on the other side of the country. "So, if I see Oli coming over here, should I stop him or let him approach?" Luiz asked me seriously. I doubted that Oli would notice me since he wouldn't expect me to be there, and if he did, would he even approach me? "I don't know." I replied. I honestly didn't.

I hung out in a big group with Fall Out Boy, other bands and the people that came and went as they got into polite conversations. I spoke with Pete Wentz's wife for a ages and it was about thirty minutes into my night that I noticed Oli on the other side of the room, chatting with people from other bands. I still couldn't believe that he had gone on his own, but it was really surreal to be so close to him again after so long and so many questions were left unanswered. I felt a little uncomfortable knowing that he was only a few meters from me, despite the fact that he had no idea that I was there at all. I truly wondered what he would do if he saw me... speak to me? Pretend to not see me or not recognise me? Literally run in the opposite direction? I glanced over a couple of times, even though I tried not to, but it was impossible to completely ignore the fact that he was there. I chatted with so many amazing people to distract myself, but I didn't stop thinking about Oli. I kind of hoped he move around and end up finding me, but he never did and I became torn on whether I should go over to him or not. Time was dwindling before I had to leave but my head was completely scrambled. I decided that I needed more alcohol; one last drink to maybe give me some clarity on what I should do. 

When I looked over to see how long the line at the bar was, I saw Oli standing there on his own, obviously waiting for his drink. It kind of felt like a sign from the God's to approach, but I still felt hesitant. "Luiz..." I said, gesturing my head toward the bar, pointing out Oli standing there. "Should I go?" I asked him. I wasn't sure if I should or if I even truly wanted to, but his speech had softened my feelings toward the way he'd just disappeared on me. At least maybe there was some kind of explanation for it now... but then, maybe he didn't want to talk to me. Maybe he didn't want to ever see me again; he had ghosted me after all.
"I'm sure he wouldn't be horrified to see you if that's what you're worried about." Luiz replied. It was like he could read my mind sometimes. I stood there looking at Oli's back, trying to figure out my next move. Did I want to talk to him? Did I want to put myself into a potentially awkward situation? Did I actually want complete closure on him and our friendship?
"What do you have to lose?" Luiz suddenly asked. I knew he was right, but it was still making me anxious. When I looked over at Oli again, I made the decision. What was the worst thing that could happen anyway? That he was rude and didn't want to talk to me? It's not like I ever really had to see him again if he was a complete asshole... and who knew if or when I would ever have the chance to potentially speak to him face to face again. Luiz handed me his drink, like he knew I needed liquid courage and I threw it back in one go.

As I walked toward the bar, my nerves started rising and I had a huge lump in my throat. I didn't really have any reason to be nervous since I'd done nothing wrong, but you know how it is... seeing someone from your past is always a little daunting. Oli was leaning on the bar, looking at his phone when I stopped beside him.
"Congratulations." I said, looking over. Oli turned and as his eyes met mine it was like he had seen a ghost... like all of the blood rushed out of his face... like he was absolutely terrified. He just stared at me for a moment with his lips slightly open like he was in complete and utter shock. "Thanks." he finally said before pausing for way too long. "Hi." he then added with an unsure tone. It was like he couldn't speak, that or had no idea what to say to me.
"Long time, no see." I said. He swallowed hard. The barman appeared and broke the awkward silence, distracting Oli for a moment as he handed him his drink. Oli just looked completely bewildered. "Um, are you... uh, drinking?" Oli asked me awkwardly. I looked to the barman.
"Vodka and soda with lime please." I requested. Oli still looked completely terrified and the air around us was incredibly tense. The moment was definitely not pleasant.
"So, I can't believe you won Album of the year." I said trying to break the weird silence. "I'm glad you did though, you deserved it." I added, trying to at least ease things with a compliment. I had honestly never had such an awkward moment with a person in my entire life.
"Thanks." he said before taking a sip of his drink. "You uh, you heard my speech then?" he asked.
"Yeah." I replied. "I had no idea." I added with a furrowed brow.
"Nobody did." he replied. The awkwardness was intense.
"Well I'm glad you're doing better now." I admitted. I meant it. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. "And it was brave of you to talk about it." I added. He took another sip of his drink.
"Thanks. I guess I just wanted... people, to know." he admitted awkwardly. I nodded and smiled at him but it felt really strange. I felt like I didn't even know who he was. I think he was a little drunk, but it didn't seem like the alcohol was making it easier for him to talk to me. He was visibly uncomfortable.

The barman appeared with my drink and I thanked him. I looked at Oli waiting for him to say something... to say anything... but there was nothing. He was just standing there like he was still frozen and debilitated by fear.
"Well," I said, ready to remove myself from the intensely awkward conversation.
"Do you want to go and... chat?" he asked suddenly and awkwardly before I could say I had better go. He seemed really flustered around me and I had never seen him that way, but I guess I wanted to talk to him. I knew it must be getting close to the time I had to leave though, so I checked my phone. "Sure." I replied. I made sure he saw me check the time. If the intensity and awkwardness of the conversation didn't improve, at least I would have a reason to get away; an escape. I followed him outside and we stood around a high bar table.
"So, you're uh, you're like... a famous supermodel now." he stated, finally seeming a tiny bit less terrified of me though still stuttering.
"I wouldn't say supermodel." I snickered.
"Well, I'm happy you got the life you always wanted." he said.
"Thank you." I smiled. My career was what I always wanted, but I would hardly say I had the entire life I wanted. Honestly, all I wanted was for him to tell me why he ghosted me, but I couldn't be bothered in bringing it up when he didn't really seem in the talking mood, so I just sipped my drink. There was another very long and awkward pause where we both just stood there. He could barely even make eye contact with me, and it was actually starting to annoy me. It's not like I was a stranger or someone he didn't know... I hated that he was acting like I was.
"So, did Jordan tell you that he saw me in London?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Yeah." Oli replied followed by another sip of drink.
"He seemed pretty surprised to see me." I said with an amused tone.
"Not as surprised as me when he told me you were there." Oli said, seeming to finally be a little less tense; possibly because he was drinking his beer as though it were water. "You went to Download too, right?" he asked.
"Yeah. I actually saw your set too." I said taking a sip of my drink. "Making up for missing it last year at Reading, I guess." I said, purposely mentioning last year to try and get him to start talking about it. He just looked at me blankly though; the awkward silence back, yet again.

Luiz appeared at the table not a moment too soon, interrupting our conversation, or lack of. "Sorry to interrupt, but we have to think about heading off." he said.
"OK, give me two minutes." I replied with a smile. Luiz nodded and disappeared again.
"Sorry... my manager. I have an early flight tomorrow so I'm not allowed to stay out late." I said with a tiny laugh. I sounded like a teenager with a curfew.
"Where are you going?" Oli asked politely.
"New York then Toronto... Australia for 5 days, then Venice, then back to New York again." I exhaled. I was exhausted just thinking about it. "I'm rarely anywhere for more than a few days anymore." I said. He was silent. "Well I guess you would know about that from when you're on tour." I said looking at him, trying to encourage him to say something. Anything...
"That's crazy." Oli finally replied.
"Yeah, I love it though." I said with a shrug. I sculled the last third of my drink and put the empty glass down on the table. "Well, I better go." I said. "Congratulations again on the awards." I added as I picked up my bag. "Maybe I'll see you one day when you're on tour." I said politely. I moved away to avoid a weird 'are we supposed to hug' situation and said it was good to see him; walking away with a 'Bye' before it could get any more awkward.