Like Real People Do - Jill Roord

I Remember The First Time I Saw Him

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set in the past

TW: drugs, drinking, abuse

I remember the first time I saw him, it was like my entire world changed in the most naively adolescent way possible. 

Maya and I had been best friends since the first day of school, we were completely inseparable and that was how it was always supposed to stay.
As young kids it was all just fun, we'd kick a football about for days on end and never spend a moment apart in school. Growing up, Maya was the person I imagined always being by my side, Alexia and weren't so close at the time and my family were never fair on me, so my entire world revolved around this friendship. 

Maya was the sort of person who everyone loved, the girl was like a breath of fresh air and the fluffiest clouds in the sky. She wanted to grow up and be a photographer who travelled the world and promised to follow me wherever I went. 

And she did exactly that. And then it killed her. 

When we were twelve, Maya's mother got remarried. She married a business man from the city who had a son three years older than us. 
That son was called Mateo.

There was one day that I remembered so distinctly. Maya and I were making pasta in her kitchen then Mateo and three of his friends walked in.

"Hola Maya y chica bonita allí, ven con nosotros esta noche? (Hey Maya and pretty girl there, come with us tonight?)" he strode in.

I was thirteen. He was sixteen. 

I looked at Maya, we both had little smiles on our faces as we quickly nodded. Maya went to reply, she'd liked one of his friends for months, but I cut her off, knowing her response would have been one of an excitable thirteen year old girl; I was far too eager to grow up. "A dónde vamos entonces? (Where are we going then?)"

That night Mateo put his arm around my shoulder and smiled at me, I was smitten from the get go. I was young, I'd yet to be hurt and I fell head first in love for that boy like putty in his hands. 

Maya and I began hanging around with his friends every day after school, it began with sitting at the skate park with a few beers and a lot of laughter. 

Mateo was kind to me, he'd pick me up from training and make sure I ate. He was the sort of boy from the movies, who'd always hold your hand and tell you everything you wanted to hear. It felt too good to be true, but it was real for a month or two before it wasn't.

One thing led to another and Mateo and his friends ended up in a gang, a really nasty gang full of drugs, alcohol and violence. And even with being in the Barca academy, something about the idea of danger dragged me in even further. Maya was much more hesitant to stick around the group but I was the one to drag her along assuring her that 'it's just teenage fun'.
I honestly thought nothing would get out of hand, I thought I could keep up with my football and stay with Mateo. 

I grew more and more dependent on Mateo, thinking he was the reason for my happiness and everything good that came my way. Though the more I was pulled into his antics, the less good came my way. It was as if, his mind took over my own; he'd call me and I'm come running, he'd pass me a joint and I'd smoke it. I'd do anything he wanted because I was so stupidly convinced that it was what I wanted too.

One night Alexia caught me sneaking into the house barely able to function, my pupils all dilated and words no more than a slur. Even in the state of being half conscious, I remember the shock on her face as it turned into panic. She took me up to her room and cleaned me up, I told her everything, then I woke up the next morning and she'd booked my flights to London, arranged that I'd move in with my grandparents and get away from everything.