Like Real People Do - Jill Roord

I Remember The First Time I Saw Him

Hunter's POV 

Mapi had sat me up, I almost feared to look at Jill for the mess I'd created hadn't only hurt me. My fingers no longer clung to the fabric of Jill's hoodie, that thought terrified me, and though I felt she wouldn't walk out now, I felt she'd leave soon as she heard everything I'd kept from her; which was an entirely other life. 

I looked at my sister, Alexia's eyes softened, I hated her pitying me, "I want to talk to Jill alone," I whispered.

I knew that I had to tell Jill, I knew she wouldn't leave but the tiny voice in the back of my head told me she would. But after everything she'd seen today, Jill needed to know and I felt like I wanted her to know, thought telling her sounded painful.

Alexia looked unsure, I ushered her over to me. She leaned down so I could whisper in her ear without Jill hearing. 

"I want to tell her, I want to do it in private though."

Alexia now whispered in my ear, it was strange to hear something so quiet after the last hours had been so horrifyingly loud, "And then we'll talk afterwards?"

I nodded.

Alexia pulled away and gulped, we both knew that she couldn't deny my plea. "Mapi, Ona, let's go and get a coffee from the café and give these two some space."

Both of them looked confused but nonetheless quietly followed Alexia out of the room. 

I let out a shaky breath, knowing that now was the time I had to trust Jill more than ever.

I looked up at her, Jill searched my eyes for answers, taking ahold of my hand as the knot in my chest settled slightly. "You can tell me Hunter," She told me gently. That's what I loved about Jill, she never pushed. 

Looking at Jill, I remembered the very first time we'd spoken on the curb outside the pub. The truth was, I never expected to get so attached to her, or anyone for that matter, but this feeling has stumbled upon me and it was like a dream but I feared the dream could one day come to and end. I didn't know if I could go through reality again.

I felt the world settle around me, everything had turned to silence, meaning I had no excuses anymore. For a second I wondered where I could possibly begin, though I saw no place other than right at the begining, "I first came to London when I was ten, it was just a visit and I never planned to move though my visits became more frequent as things begun in Barcelona. I moved when I was thirteen, I didn't plan on ever going back to Spain but I had to; every holiday I'd visit Barcelona, Alexia didn't even know I was back in Spain. I practically lived inbetween the two countries until I was seventeen."

Jill looked confused, "why didn't you tell me this before?"

I shook my head, "I didn't really tell anyone. Everyone in England thought I went to Alexia's and most people in Spain thought I stayed in England."

"I don't understand," Jill said softly, I could see her trying to learn but she was desperately lost right now, "Why wouldn't you tell them the truth?"

I sighed, knowing that I couldn't run from the truth anymore because it always caught up to me. It would catch up to me in Barcelona. It would catch up to me in London. It would catch up to me in France. I could move to mars and it would still probably find me there, there were shackles tying me to the past and the key couldn't be found; I was forever going to be stuck.

My eyes slowly trailed up to Jill's face, I saw the helplessness she felt as I'd left her in the dark but I wasn't going to do that anymore. I couldn't let myself do that anymore. I took a long sigh, preparing myself to recount everything that had destroyed me back then and was still beating me down now.