Like Real People Do - Jill Roord

You'll Be Okay

Hunter's POV

Jill didn't hesitate before rushing over to me, pulling me into a tight hug and just something about the way she held me made everything feel a little safer though Jill also brought my emotions out like no one else before.

"I'm not hurting you am I?" She quickly checked.

I shook my head, "It's fine."

For a few minutes, nothing was said. 

I felt this overwhelming sensation of drowning, because I didn't want to imagine the time out of football, I didn't want to think I might be missing the world cup. What would I do every single day when I didn't have something to work towards? How much would my thoughts catch up to me without anything else to distract them with?
But then equally, Jill provided me with this softening comfort. She didn't seem impatient to pull away or disgruntled that she couldn't watch the rest of the match. It just felt quiet, even with my mind being a complete mess, there was one single flicker telling me it would work out in my heart because I wasn't alone. 
It was a dark world at the moment, pitch black even, but there was one tiny light to prove it might get better. 

Suddenly the door opened, I quickly pulled away from Jill, wiping my cheeks dry and trying to gain some composure in front of the Spanish medical staff. The lady sent me a small smile, "Your manager at Arsenal has been in contact, they've arranged a plane to fly you back to England this evening for medical checks. He also wished you all the best."

"Thankyou," I lightly nodded.

I'd known that I'd likely be going back to England for the medical checks though I hoped they'd let me stay in Spain so I'd have Alexia and Mapi by my side and I didn't want to face the Arsenal girls like this. When I went back, I wanted to be strong and stern rather than this broken bird who couldn't even walk. 
I'd gone to Spain hoping to fly back prepared, though I was returning to London somehow worse off that I'd come. 

Jill sat cautiously besides me, watching as the lady left and then she turned to me, a smile on her face. Though it wasn't the same bright and confident smile as usual, she seemed fearful, "You'll be okay," She assured me quietly. 

I ran my hands shakily through my hair, flattening out my ponytail, "Hopefully."
Truth be told, I didn't have much hope, I'd learnt that hope was the biggest killer. If you have no hope, you won't be disappointed but if you have hope, that means everything can come crashing down. 

"You will be," Jill told me as if it wasn't even up for discussion, though I could hear both of our minds questioning if that was the reality. 

Yet again, the door slightly opened, interrupting us, though this time it was some faces I'd been hoping to see. Mapi, Alexia, Ona and Lia somehow all peeked around the door, looking as if they were up to no good until they eventually knew they could come in. 

"How are you?" Alexia asked while pulling me into a sisterly hug.

"I'm alright," I sent them all a half smile, feeling more disheartened now rather than overwhelmed.

Mapi also pulled me into her arms, "Do they know anything yet?"

I shook my head, "They know it's not broken but I already guessed that. I'm going back to London tonight to get tested."

Alexia frowned, "So you can't stay in Spain?"

"Wouldn't be much help to the team anyway," I dryly chuckled, trying to bring light to a rather dark room. 

"I know that," She patted my back, not quite understanding my joke, "I just wanted to be by your side."

I wanted that too, though admitting it wouldn't make matters easier for Alexia or myself, "I'll be fine."
Alexia was the perfect older sister, she couldn't do anymore for me. I knew she'd have stayed by my side for every medical consultancy and scan even if she had to stay up all night, Alexia wouldn't have complained once. I loved that about Alexia, and I'd do the same for her, but in times when we couldn't be there to physically support one another, it was difficult. 

To travel, I needed my ankle wrapped up and put in a boot so the all the girls left except from Alexia. Mapi and Jill went back to the hotel so they could pick up my luggage, seeing as we were travelling straight from the stadium to the airport. Lia had to return to her team. 

I knew I was in for a long day though already I felt like I'd been awake for years.

_____________________

Alexia's POV

Seeing my sister in that physical pain was terrifying in the moments, all I wanted to do was take it away. But I couldn't. Though realizing the mental pain she was going through, scared me even more because Hunter would never admit it. The only time I knew things were happening is when she'd have an episode in Spain and we'd see it. Other than that, Hunter tried to hide it best she could; put a film over the stormy oceans beneath. 

But as her sister, someone who'd known her since the moment she was born, I could see.
I watched the nurse wrapping her ankle and knew Hunter was absent. Hunter didn't look like her soul or heart was alive, she was merely just living. 

I was scared, I'd never tell her but I was completely terrified, almost to the point my body froze in place because I didn't have the answers. I didn't know what to say or do. I felt like I should address it to her but I knew she wouldn't tell me anyway unless she wanted to. Hunter hated me worrying, she hated anyone worrying.

Being separated in different countries always came with its pains and annoyances but this was by far the worst. I didn't want to loose Hunter to London again because what if she needed me? And now I knew I definitely couldn't trust the girls and environment at Arsenal so I felt she'd be partly alone. I was scared Hunter would crawl back into the darkness and we'd loose her again.

I'd always thought it was selfish of my heart to hope one day she'd return home, back to Barcelona. But now, thinking about it, I don't think it was selfish at all because logically, if Mapi and I could convince her to get the right help, she'd feel safe. Because I felt Hunter would be safer with us in Spain than in London with people who didn't care. Maybe she had Leah, Lia and Jill but they didn't know her like Mapi and I did. 

There was a hole in my stomach, a tightness in my throat about letting her get on that plane but I knew I was powerless. It was Hunter's life, I couldn't decide how she'd live it. The reality was that if Hunter was going to succumb to the darkness, she'd do it. If she wanted to live in London, she would. I couldn't make her decisions and nor did I want to, sometimes I just wished that Hunter would come home. 

"And you're all done," The nurse smiled, packing away her supplies.

I looked at Hunter's foot in the boot and my heart broke a little for her, especially with the quickly approaching world cup.

Soon as the lady left, Hunter groaned, hiding her face in her hands.

I rushed over to her, "Does it hurt awfully? Do I need to get the staff?" I asked, going through every scenario in my mind. 

Hunter looked up at me, a little questioningly, "I'm fine, they loaded me up on pain killers ages ago, but why'd they make this boot so bloody big?"

Just from the relief of her statement, I laughed a little, glad to see Hunter still had her complete honesty, "I don't know Hunts, it's just precaution I guess."

"Yeah well taking precautions would be making sure no one did awful tackles like that one," She huffed.

"I'm sure the player didn't mean it," I reasoned, knowing the defender had told me to apologize to Hunter, "They apologized."

Hunter nodded, "I know, it's football. I mean it's bound to happen at some point."

"And you'll be back in no time, better than ever," I smiled.

Hunter dramatically rolled her eyes, I could hear how tiring it was for her to even speak, "The comeback to top all comebacks."