Like Real People Do - Jill Roord

Now It Was My Turn To Be Strong

Hunter's POV

It could have only been seconds, but it felt like an entire lifetime as my ears began to ring, stripping my of my senses, while Jill spoke to Alexia on the phone. 
I turned my head, trying to get answers from Jill as she tried to remain calm, though I could see her eyes darting back and forth, internally panicking as she tried to stay calm. 

I however couldn't function; my brain didn't make the note to panic nor to stay calm. I froze, every part of my body froze and I began to break down, not to the outside world but crashing internally.

Jill sighed, bringing me back to the real world, "Nana is stable," She told me, "We're going to go and meet her and Alexia at the hospital, okay?"

I gulped, trying to override the pause in my mind as I slowly nodded. 

Jill took my face into her hands, "It's going to be okay, just breathe."

I nodded again, my throat too dry to speak and my mouth clammed shut.

"Come on," Jill stood up, pulling me to my feet as she grabbed my hand began to walk back to the car. 

Jill opened the door for me, I looked up at her for a second and felt my heart drop even further as I didn't see that typical smile with the promise of everything being okay; instead, I saw fear. 
It was a completely out of body experience, my mind had given up because if it had continued working, I'd be breaking down but right now Nana needed me to be strong, she needed me to be the strong girl she raised, so I held my chin up high and promised I'd do that for her. 

After Jill had frantically typed in the address, we began driving to the hospital which was luckily only ten minutes away though I began to feel my mind race.

"Distract me Jill," I suddenly blurted out, begging to pull my thoughts back into my control.

"Um," Jill was panicked, "Do you remember Beth trying to act out the Titanic scene last night? Everyone found that super funny."

I nodded, trying to bring those memories back but they weren't at all joyous anymore, my entire mind clouded over by this seemingly eternal darkness.

"That work?" Jill asked, glancing over at me for a moment.

"Not particularly," I gulped. 

I felt a gentle hand on my knee, looking up to see Jill, "We're nearly there," She assured me, "You'll see Nana soon."

I nodded, "What happened Jill?" my voice so quiet, unsure whether I even wanted to know or not. 
I'd heard Alexia being emotional thousands of times but never quite like this, I'd never heard this lack of hope or composure in my older sister's voice. I was so used to that never faltering strength, but Alexia sounded broken. 

"They don't know yet," Jill admitted, "She collapsed and they're running tests now."

"What for?"

"I don't know, I'm sorry Hunts," Jill apologized.

I ran my fingers through my hair, "It's not your fault. Great start to Lex's London trip, hey?" I tried to joke though it came out less humorous than ever before.

Jill didn't reply, there was nothing left to say because she couldn't promise me that things would work out this time. Much as Jill had a control over my world, she wasn't God, she couldn't cure the uncurable and I couldn't expect that from her. But I knew that through whatever this hospital held, Jill would never leave my side and that was a fact which could always bring peace, even in the times of war. 

Eventually we pulled into the car park, practically dashing into the unit which Alexia had told Jill to find. Each corridor was far too long, too bright and too empty; this didn't feel like a place of hope, it felt like a place solidly in-between life and death.