BOOK 1 of the raising series
When new girl Aiko Shu moves to California with her Father after escaping from her crazy mother and her family she transfers to a new school where she meets the nice and the mean people. With nowhere to fit in she feels...
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The car ride home was weird I was in the backsest whilst alisha and ma was up front. "you know if the u20's manager gets a hold of this and he will your whole career is over" I gulp down the regret in my throat.
"i know ma and I'm sorry." She just shakes her head. "we don't hit women. Malik. How many times have I told you that and how many times have you agreed." to fucking many. When people are disappointed in me I don't really care. I grew up with my father yelling in my face calling me a disappointment but when it's visible that my ma is disappointed it makes me livid at myself it's the worst l Feeling apart from learning about my daughters difficultys I've ever experienced.
"Malik you always say how you don't want to be like dad but your doing the exact same thing he is except he wasn't caught." Alishas words burned and I knew my ma knew how badly that hurt becoming a father when your own father was abusive is harder then ever cause you don't want to disappoint you don't want to feel like your following in there footsteps even if you only met your child once.
So hearing a close family member say that your just like your father hurts like a fucking bitch. "ALISHA MONROVIA BOOKER." My ma yells.
"don't you ever say that to your brother again don't even think about it. Malik is nothing like your father and I'm so happy that he is not so don't you say that again. Malik is opposite from your father in every way so how dare you say that hes like that horrible man. Your father was abusive manipulative a drunk and a cheat and I'll be damned if Malik was even a glimpse of him. Malik may have hurt that woman but the difference between him and your father is your father hit the women he loved he hit his kids whereas Malik hurt the woman to protect his family and he would never lay a finger on his daughter in his life. "
My eyes were watered and I let out a single sob lowering my head as I use my thumb and pointer finger to pinch the bridge of my nose and also hide my face. The car comes to a stop and my ma turns in her seat.
"aw my boy why you crying." i shake my head as I feel my ma stroke my hair in the pattern of my waves so she don't ruin them. "I'm just like dad...im a drunk god the amount of time I've gotten blacked out drunk or fucking high and shit I didn't even know a-and I'm a damn cheater dang I have a baby and half the school as fucking evidence I abuse women I made a nurses head bleed a-and I hurt Aiko once I didn't mean to but I did it it was the day I decided to take my meds for my I.e.d again cause I hurt her ma I hurt her and I promised myself I'd never do it again and I havent but Alisha right and I hate it." i say my voice cracking the whole way through as my ma stokes my head.
"Malik Im sorry I didn't mean what I said..I was just annoyed and I took it out on you I'm sorry." i shake my head wiping my eyes. "it's ok Alisha I'm just emotional I've never had so many emotions pent up before... I've been locked up for a week... I've now got a criminal record for assault so thats limited my fucking future... I'm missing my daughter I'm now on house arrest and have to face the embarrassment of it at school on Monday it's just I hate it all."
I wipe my tears leaning back on my seat digging my hands into my hair.
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I'm at the hospital by myself. I recently found out the nurse was fired. I'm just sat on the chair watching my daughter as she moves around. Her eyes land on mine and I smile. It's the first time I've seen her eyes first time shes ever looked at me. She copys my exact smile giving it back to me. She now 6 months old and still in the nicu.
There's been problems with her lungs when they've collapsed on her but right now she getting alot better. Her heart is perfectly fine and now there working on her lungs. They say that she'd be lucky to be out of the nicu by the time she was one.
Seeing the tubes in her nose makes me hate the world how something so precious and innocent as a baby could go through the amount of pain my beautiful daughter had been through. "excuse me sir." a nurse says and I move my chair forwards a little so she could move by. She walks into my daughters room picking her up out of the crib she layed in the woman wore blue overalls a mask a net for her hair and blue gloves she was covered head to toe in protective gear.
She sat on a chair my daughter across from her in a high chair as the woman feeds her mush carrots which they made out of carrot and aikos breastmilk. She feeds my daughter who bangs her hands up and down on the highchair whilst kicking her feet.
She stops once again staring at me like she knew I was her daddy. The nurse realises she staring at me and gives me a smile. "is that dada." the nurse says in a high pitch voice to blakelyn who smiles and let's out the cutest giggle.
I laugh back at her proud and amazed as tears formed in my eyes. I can't wait for the day I get to holdy precious girl the first time but talking to her is gonna have to do for now.
"hey baby girl." i say to her and her eyes widen it's the first time I've spoken to her. "hey my precious blakelyn how my girl." She let's out a laugh that sounds more like a scream. "i miss my little girl and i can't wait to give you cuddles and kisses." she just smiles at me in pure amazement whilde drool pours out of her mouth the nurse having to wipe it up.
"Daddy's gotta go now happy girl I have to go get mommy from Mr brenans office but daddy loves you so much baby girl." i blow her kisses and she tries to do the action back and I smile at her.
