Why are you crying? |s.m|

621 27 6
                                    

TW?: yelling and cussing
Other than that it's just fluff
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I don't understand her, why she acts like this all of the time. Everyone is always telling me thats not how she is and that she's sweet or whatever. But why haven't I seen that side of her? Of all people I feel like I should've seen it by now. Not to sound self centered but damn I spend the most time with her.

As I'm getting dressed after our indescribable sex, I sigh. She doesn't say anything and continues to stare out the window with a cigarette in hand. Her elbow laying on the wrist of her opposite arm as it's crossed over her body. Periodically taking puffs from the cig held so close to her face at all times.

"I'm going now" I say hoping for her to have some sort of reaction. She just continues staring out that damn window as if I never spoke in the first place. I turn towards the door as I do every time she's done with me, but I've had enough. I'm not some sort of whore she can use and abuse until she's over me.

"I'm not a hooker" I say angrily and her head slowly turns to me. She gazes at me with a blank expression, which doesn't even phase me at this point. She licks her teeth and takes another drag from the cancer stick before putting it out and crossing her legs calmly.

"Why are you like this to me? I don't understand what everyone else sees" I sigh raising my hands and dropping them to my sides. She remains silent and just follows my movements. "My god just fucking speak! You have nothing to say at all?! It's like talking to a god damn wall" I yell as I close my eyes trying to contain my frustration.

"You know what? I'm done. You manipulative, narcissistic cunt. I can't believe it took me this long to finally realize how much of an asshole you are. I thought I could take it, but I just can't do this anymore. The sex is phenomenal, and then you avoid me like the fucking plague any other time. I just don't understand you at all and you won't even attempt to explain yourself" I say getting quieter as I continue.

At some point during my rant she stood up and I see her face has fallen. Then as if a switch was flipped in her brain, her face shows anger. But there was something else I couldn't really pinpoint. I stare at her as seconds pass that feel like hours.

"Well would you rather me be all over you?! Tell you how much I love you every second of every day?! How I feel like I can't breathe whenever you're gone, and that every time I see your smile I feel alive again?! For fucks sake y/n what do you want from me!" She screams as tears flood her face. She turns around and faces the wall with her arms hugging her body.

There's a moment of silence as my jaw drops "what" is the only word that falls from my lips. "Fuck" I hear her mutter as she takes a shaky breath trying to calm herself. I approach her slowly until I'm right behind her. Her hand comes up to her face and harshly wipes her tears off both cheeks.

I lightly touch her back and she flinches but quickly relaxes and leans into my touch. Her cries get louder until she's sobbing and I turn her around pulling her in my arms. She wraps her arms around me tightly and a look of surprise flashes over my face. She's never held me this tightly before, I mean after care is one thing.

But it's usually short and as soon as I'm able to operate on my own, I'm gone. "Please..." she takes a breath, "please don't leave me" she whispers through staggered breaths. Before I can even think of anything to say she continues. "I'm so sorry. You're right. I'm such a bitch and I don't know why... why I can't just-" she stops herself and doesn't keep going.

The room falls silent again and I just rub her back soothingly until she's calm. She pulls away and wipes her tears again as I stand there watching her. She looks all over the room, anywhere but at me and I give her a moment before I speak. "Talk to me, Sal" I say softly and I see a little smile creep on her face.

She closes her eyes as her smile falls and she bites her bottom lip nervously. Her arms cross her body protectively as she takes a deep breath. "I don't think you'll like me if I show you who I really am" she sighs shakily. "We've been through this, Sally. I know about the drugs and the killing and that you're dead. I'm still here... what are you afraid of?" I ask not understanding what she means.

"Not that... the other side. The real me" she whispers, "tell me, Sal. Let me decide for myself" I demand softly. She lets out a shaky breath and I can tell how anxious she is to let it out. I take her arms gently and rub my fingers down until I intertwine our hands. She opens her eyes and looks at me sadly, I smile and nod for her to go ahead.

"I love you" she says looking in my eyes but as soon as the words escape her, her eyes fall to the floor. "What I said is true. I want to be around you all the time. I can't stand it when you leave, I'm so miserable. I mean, I want to ask you things... but I'm not sure you'd like that" she sighs.

"Ask me things... please" I whisper, her eyes raise to meet mine and I smile sadly at her. "And you really- you still want me? All of it?" She asks nervously, "everything" I reassure her. "But like... you'd wanna cuddle? And- and maybe just... sit with me? You'd do that?" She asks with child-like curiosity brimming in her eyes.

"Of course! I've been craving to just spend time with you but you never seem interested. I didn't wanna bother you-" she cuts me off with a gentle kiss. The softest I've ever seen her be before and I melt taking in every second. She pulls away and puts her hand on my cheek caressing it.

Fresh tears fill her eyes and I reach my hands up to wipe them. "Don't cry..." I say softly, "you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that" she expresses. She picks me up by my thighs making me squeal and wrap my arms around her neck.

She practically skips over to the bed and jumps on it making me fall on top of her. "I'm never letting you go" she whispers in my ear as her arms tighten around me. "I'd never want you to" I reply nuzzling my face in her neck. "Tell me you-" she stops herself and I raise my head so my eyes meet hers.

I look at her questioningly and she smiled nervously. "Do you love me?" She asks with uncertainty, "yes. I love you baby" I say sincerely. Her smile widens and she kisses all over my face. "You're the best thing to ever happen to me" she voices staring into my eyes. "And you're mine" I whisper laying my head on her chest.

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