S.P. One Shots

Pills and Potions |c.g|

TW: depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, attempted suicide, pills, alcohol, and throwing up

Your pov
I sat on the cold tile floor of the bathroom with my knees the chest. I rested my chin on my folded arms thinking on how I even got to this point. I had came to the academy a few months ago and in that time I had learned a lot. The seemingly most important thing was that I was in love with Cordelia, the supreme.

But my thoughts about myself were stronger than the love I had for her. I tried to suppress and control them for a long time but I'm tired of trying so hard to be normal. I looked at the pill bottle of my antidepressants I had on the floor in front of me. I looked over to see my bottle of sleeping pills I had right next to it.

I hadn't been taking them, I didn't like how dependent I had become. I felt like I couldn't function without them so I stopped and fought through it. I wanted to be able to be happy on my own, I didn't want to need drugs. At least they would be good for something though, they were the only thing I had at my disposal to do the job.

I opened them both and grabbed the bottle of tequila I hid in the cabinet under my sink. I mentally prepared myself for what was about to come. I know I shouldn't be but, I felt happy and relieved that I wouldn't have to struggle anymore. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't hear footsteps coming closer and closer to me.

I sprinkled pills from each bottle into my hand, spilling some on the floor. At least I don't have to worry about cleaning them up I thought to myself. I took them by two because as funny as it sounds I have a hard time swallowing pills. I had finished all the ones in my hand and was about to pour more when the bathroom door flew open.

It was Cordelia... she swiped the pills from in front me sending them flying into my room. She grabbed me as I tried to pull away from her and positioned me in front of the toilet. She forcefully help my mouth open with one hand and stuck two fingers down my throat with the other. I tried to hold out thinking if I waited a few more seconds she would stop.

Maybe the pills would at least have a dissolved enough to make it useless for her to keep trying. But she pushed them farther and farther until I gagged and puked up everything. Including everything I ate that day and it tasted disgusting. She let go and flicked the throw up on her hand off on the floor. I sat back against the wall defeated, I was pissed that she stopped me.

Why couldn't she just let me die in peace? But I was also sad that she had to see me like this. I hadn't told her about my mental health issues and this wasn't exactly the most fun way to find out.

Delia's pov
Y/n had been acting weird all day, not really talking and laughing like she usually did. I had overheard her a few times talking to Zoe about how she was struggling. I figured that's where she was going when she would leave without a word every month, to see her therapist. But recently she had been in her room, she would be in there for hours at a time.

Sometimes not even coming out to eat, I didn't want to bother her about it. Every now and then I would check on her to make sure she was alright. She was either sleeping or pretending to be sleeping whenever I came in. I would hear her quietly crying in the middle of the night when I woke up to get water.

I was going to check on her today when I got an immense headache. I had to stabilize myself on the wall so I didn't fall, as I got closer to her room it intensified. I felt compelled to go inside her mind, as soon as I did the pain dulled a bit. I'm tired of trying so hard to be normal... I want to be happy without drugs what did she mean? I knocked softly on her door and didn't hear an answer.

I slowly opened her door and looked around the room but she wasn't in there. I saw the light creeping out the bottom of the bathroom door along with a small shadow. I tried to be quiet as I walked over to the door until I heard pills rattling. I threw open the door to find her sitting on the floor with a half empty bottle of tequila.