Stones Diary: Built for Pressura' 2

Chapter 85.) Blue Lights...

Nobody ever talks about the downside of motherhood. The constant feeling of sadness. Constantly feeling as if your emotions are stuck on autopilot; only allowing sorrow in. The rollercoaster of emotions that you have no control over. One moment everything is going fine and the next, you're crying at the last slice of cheesecake. The media does a good job of displaying the positive side of motherhood and only highlights the bad vaguely and then suddenly it's gone.

Why does it seem as if the world is afraid to shed light on how helpless and defeated women feel postpartum? What good would it do to only talk about one downside of Postpartum but forget the other symptoms? Depression. Fatigue. Insecurity. Night terrors. Imposter Syndrome. Trouble bonding. Being happy.

It's part of a women's life but it seems to get overshadowed or exaggerated for clickbait or sales. postpartum depression causes a serious impact on a mother's mental. They either constantly feel exhausted, emotionally drained, or guilty. It's a heartbreaking journey that most mothers have no idea how to handle or talk about because seeking help often makes them feel ashamed for admitting that something is wrong. Nobody wants to be viewed as weak or unable to do for their child.

Ava didn't feel weak. She just frequently felt as if she was tending to Karter wrong or not spending enough time with him. No matter how much he grew or smiled at her, there was a voice in Ava's head that kept telling her that she would lose him if she didn't keep her eyes on him. It was the day before October the 30th, two days before Zora's birthday and although Lucky had told Ava plenty of times that they could cancel the Halloween party, Ava was forcing herself to follow through with things.

It was mid-afternoon, and the weather was warmer with a light breeze as if a storm was brewing but the skies were clear as day.

"Don't go too far, Zoie," Ava instructed, as Zora ran around in the sand

"I not!" she replied before flipping.

Ace and Angel barked as they ran around Zora and took turns running in and out of the water.

Inside, Lucky was watching from the screen door with Kairo snacking on a chicken sandwich. "Is dis one of her good days?"

"Yeah... I try not to get my hopes up 'cause tha' mood swings always hits her at tha' weirdest time."

"Like?" Kairo stared at him.

Lucky shrugged, "dinner... while we're watching movies, or she could be sorting through lil man's clothes and I'd catch her crying."

"Damn," was all Kairo knew to say. He hated this for his sister. "Does it seem as if the medication is working?"

"Gotta wait four more weeks to see... if nun changes, tha' doctor will prescribe her something else."

"How long can dis last? Like do all women experience dis?"

"It can last weeks, two months, six months, or an entire year... not every woman experiences it... I honestly don't know how it happens... I guess it's like rolling tha' dice... you either hit or miss in their situation."

"What about you? I know dis eating you up."

"I mean it is," Lucky shrugged, "but I ain't about to cry or complain, my wife is dealing with some serious shit and it's just aggravating to me dat I can't just pull dat shit out of her, and get rid of tha' damn thing. Like if I could physically fight a damn illness, on God I would."

Kairo smiled softly, he knew Lucky meant every word. "Is taking meds her only treatment option?"

"Nah, therapy, sitting in tha' sun... talking to me or other people about it, or just getting out tha' house can help. Das' why I'm glad she decided to go out today, she even did her makeup... shit made me smile."