The Caseys: Our Journey to Parenthood

Chapter Eighty-Nine

"No interest though!" Matt just laughed when he heard Kelly say that. "Ok, can I at least tell you what I'm thinking for my money?" Kelly agreed with his best friend, deciding to let him do just that. "Well, like I said. Me and Gabby are thinking of starting a company. And I was thinking of doing something related to firefighters. Maybe I can do like firefighter training places or something. I don't know, I'm still figuring that out to tell you the truth." Kelly agreed with his best friend when he said that, clearly able to see that he doesn't have everything set up yet. "And of course, I can't promise you anything; nor can I promise you that it would ever be successful. I don't want you to just say anything yet if you aren't ready to do it. But that's just what I'm thinking. And then we do stuff for like mental health and stuff. I have no ideas just what I want to do but..." Kelly just interrupted his friend, smiling at him. "You want to do something, and you wanted to know if I wanted to help?" Matt took a breath when Kelly asked him that, knowing that he needs to explain now.  "Listen, I am not going to say that you're going to feel the same way that I did after I left Chicago. However, I am going to tell you how I felt anyways." Kelly agreed with Matt when he said that, deciding to let him explain all of that; something that he wants to hear.

Matt's POV - Part One:
As I got ready to explain the real reason why me and Gabby decided to leave, I took a breath due to the fact that I knew I needed to do this. I needed to tell him so that he understood the real reason why I decided to leave Chicago. It had nothing to do with him. Rather, it was a personal decision that I needed to make. I needed to make it for my mental health, and for Gabby's mental health. The way I see her now, it's like she was when we were still in Puerto Rico. She's happy, she's all bubbly, and she's so relaxed. She feels so much better, and so do I; especially since it's actually allowed me to grieve more for Andy. I never knew just how much I still had to grieve for him, and being here has made so many things clear; like just how toxic my relationship with Hallie was, and how I never should've stayed with her. I should've never gotten back together with her when she came back, and I should've just been with Gabby after that Christmas party. If I could go back, I would do it in a heartbeat and we would've started our journey to marriage then rather than an entire year later.

"So listen, I am going to tell you a lot of things, and you're just going to have to listen how much being away from Chicago has helped me. And then, you can judge for yourself if you think being here can help you this way." Kelly agreed with me when I said that, smiling at me. "Okay, so this is the first thing I learned. I learned that I feel like I should've never gotten back together with Hallie when she came back around the Molly's opening." Kelly was just shocked when I said that. "Really?" I agreed with Kelly when he asked him that. "Just being here with Gabby, it made me realize that I love her more than I ever loved Hallie; and I had a chance to get together with her 6 years ago around Christmas 2012. I blew it, and I pushed her away; but I should've pulled her in and been with her. That's what I learned over time. I have always regretted it, and it's why I feel so blessed to have a third chance with her honestly. She's the one for me." Kelly agreed with me. "And you only learned this, because you got away from Chicago." I took a breath and agreed with Kelly, nodding.

"I swear, I wanted to say so bad that Chicago was my home. That I could live there and raise my kids there with Gabby. But I just couldn't do it because I was always so damn depressed there. Everywhere I looked, I could see either a fire, or something else. Either it was a fire we fought, or a memory I made with either Andy or Hallie. God, that ring shop on Lower Waker. You know, the one underground?" Kelly agreed with me. "Yeah, the one where you got Hallie's engagement ring." I agreed with Kelly. "They just opened one near our new place in Chicago, and I had to see it all the time; so that wasn't good. And then add in the fact that I had bad memories, and there was just a lot. Then you add in the fact that me and Gabby had so many fights there and lost a couple kids there...it was just so depressing to be there. Heck, the fact that I was abused by my dad there." Kelly took a breath when I said that, well aware that was probably something that was hard. "Yeah, I guess that does make it hard." I agreed with Kelly when he told me that, taking a breath as I looked at my best friend.