𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘺

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first person pov

maybe if i went home, everything would go back to normal.

maybe the events that occurred this past week or so would just be an overly extensive nightmare.

maybe everything would be fine when i get back home. back to KQ.

maybe...

i could stand here all night thinking about 'maybes' and 'what ifs' but the truth remains. none of that would come true. i convinced myself that it was better to go back.

but as i stared into space, it seemed starkly different to when i first observed the horizon.

instead of seeing the multiple colours of the galaxy and the stars in it, it now more closely resembled an abyss in the way that all i could see was an endless chasm. just darkness as far as i could see.

reality finally hit me hard, making me let out a shaky breath. what i wanted would never come to fruition. it was impossible. the main mast proved to be a great place for support as my hand reached back for it, leaning against the mast.

i sunk down to the ground and hugged my knees to my chest. resting my chin between my knees, my vision went slightly blurry as i could feel tears threaten to fall from my eyes. and i let them.

if anyone had walked across the deck earlier, i never noticed. but now that i was coming to terms with the actuality of what had happened, i was more aware of my surroundings.

feeling someone's presence behind me, i wiped my face before putting my arm back around my knees, where it was before.

"did you not hear me? i told you guys to leave me alone."

"oh. i heard you. everyone pretty much heard everything."

when i stayed silent and remained staring at the view, the man spoke again.

"you really have some guts talking like that to the captain."

"yeah. i snapped. but can you blame me? i've lost -. anyway, i apologised. and i told everyone to leave me alone for now."

the man sighed. "kai told me you were in the process of cooking something but since you didn't finish..." he sat down cross-legged beside me and placed a plate full of food in front of me. "he told me to take some of what he made."

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