Stones Diary: Built for Pressura' 2

Chapter 55) Control

"Let me just say... I won't knock anyone dat watches it. Sometimes people need a lil help but there are also other options to help with urges like dat, like books. I think some people may watch it for a specific reason but then it turns into an addiction and when dat happens, dat becomes a problem. It can mess with your head and sometimes we just have sick people dat just watches it and they turn into creeps."

"I had a problem... but I think it's better now. I know I should probably be talking to mom about dis but um... I learned things... maybe I should look into buying books tho, it's probably better than watching people do it."

King chuckled, "I'm sure your mom can name a good four off tha' dome if you ask her."

Assyria smirked, "I'll figure out when to do dat... I've been trying not to engage in sex with Es like dat... I think I'm just scared, to be honest."

"Why is dat?"

"You remember when I told you about how I felt like she was more focused on us sleeping together than really getting to know each other?"

King nodded.

"It was partially true in tha' beginning but tha' more we... cut dat out and I focused on myself and you know healing and stuff, tha' thought of us... y'know, it makes me nervous because I feel like if we start it may open up tha' door for me to become addicted and I worked hard to pull myself out of dat specific area."

"If you feel dat way and it's okay for you to feel dat. Overcoming any type of addiction takes a lot of work and sometimes trying to weed yourself into it might send a signal to your brain telling you dat you need more. Like me and alcohol..." he cleared his throat, "being sober is good but having a celebratory drink here and there is also good, but since I succumbed myself to tha' like of alcohol and tried to hide for a while, I became an alcoholic. I could sip some wine or a lil drink with a lil alcohol in it and think I'm good but then I may hear a lil voice dat tells me to have another. You can feed it or fight it and for you with sex, I think you just have to let go of fear and just welcome it when it comes. But if you feel like a problem will arise, pull back."

"Is it hard for you when everyone else drinks around you? I know like if I'm watching something and a sex scene pops up, I start having thoughts," she admitted.

"Yeah..." he nodded, "but I'm in a great head space to know dat people aren't just drinking in front of me on purpose. When we have get-togethers, I'm always prepared for alcohol to be around and your mom has done a lot to keep it away but after I completed my sobriety, I was just like fuck it. Like everyone is grown they can't stop what they're doing just because I abuse something. It's just a lesson I learned."

"Do you miss drinking?" she decided to ask.

"I think I value my life more than a drink," he chuckled.

"Let me find out you're afraid of mom," she snickered.

"I mean... yes and no," he laughed, "but nah for real, when I realized dat I put alcohol over her... over our kids, I knew I was messed up. So do I miss it? Sometimes but am I happier without depending on it? One-thousand percent."

Assyria chuckled, "I know people always say how a person doesn't get to choose who they're related to or who their parents are, but if I ever had tha' option, I would always choose you as my dad. I hope you know how awesome you are."

Wrapping his arms around her, King tapped her nose, "I love you and I'm proud of you."

"thank you," she smiled, "for everything."

"always."

***

"You can sit there until you're blue in the face, if you don't have the evidence, you already lost this case," Dajon stated to one of his attorney rivals.