Thief of Twilight

Part Two: Chapter 56

I haven't seen Yohan since that day. I mean, he was upset by my response so it's only fair that he keeps his distance. But this is good. I don't need him. I don't need him bothering me every day only to ask the same questions. Maybe now he'll get a clue and just leave me alone.

"Here you go." So-hee handed me a bamboo container filled with raw meat. She also handed me a smaller pouch filled with coins.

"I understand the food, but what is this?" I held the sack of coins in my hand. "I don't make this much in a day..."

"The emperor stopped by and told me everything. But...I wasn't sure what to do with the money he gave me. It felt wrong to keep it. So I thought I would give it to you."

"I don't want it." I held it out to her. "Take it. He would want you to keep it."

"B-But I can't!" So-hee held up her hands. "I can't do that!"

"Fine, then I'll just give it to some beggar on the road in the market." I turned before walking off. "I'll be back tomorrow morning."

"Z-Zurine!"

I stopped and glanced over my shoulder.

"If you see him again...you should talk to him. And I mean, really talk to him. His actions may have been wrong but his heart was in the right place." she said.

I gave a sigh before rolling my eyes. He doesn't deserve any more explanations. I just don't get why it is so difficult for him to understand how I feel. I'm telling him the truth. Why won't he just accept that and get over it? Nothing he says or does is going to get me to change my mind. I'm not going back to the palace.

I placed a hand on the doorframe as I stepped into the temple. I set the container of meat on the table before giving a violent cough. I fell to my knees while holding my chest. Each cough felt like a blow to my lungs. It felt like my head was spinning. Searching for the bottles of mermaid tears, I tore off the cork and drank. After a few moments, my coughs subsided. A cool relief touched my lungs. I can't tell if my coughs are getting better or worse. Laying on my back, I looked up at the ceiling. I don't have many bottles left. I'll have to visit Hyemi in a few days.

If I was at the palace...Eunseo would have made some remedy for me. I gave a sigh. I hope she's doing well. I hope everyone is alright. I know they are. They don't have to worry about me causing any trouble or hurting them.

Who knows what would have happened if I remained at the palace? My coughing is something that would only cause Yohan to worry. After a while, I'm sure word of my condition would have gotten out. No matter how hard someone tries to hide what happens within the palace walls or in the royal family, word of illness and or vulnerability always get out. If people found out that I was sick, they would use that as a way to harm Yohan or take me out of the picture.

I covered my eyes as a few tears ran down the side of my face. It hasn't been easy being away from him. It's been pretty difficult but I am doing my best to keep myself distracted.

Do I think about Yohan?

Yes.

Do I miss him?

Yes.

It would be a lie to say I was not happy to see him. But I'm no good for him. I might as well just stay here and live my life as stress-free as possible. By doing that, I'm keeping him safe and he doesn't have to worry about my health. That way, he doesn't have to worry about his "future empress" causing any problems. He doesn't need someone like me causing trouble for him and staining his image. He has to stay sane and govern the south. It's best that I just stay here.

I didn't know exactly when, but my eyes were so heavy that I fell asleep.

The next morning, I awoke cold and clammy. I was incredibly weak but I can't spend the day resting. I have to help So-hee as best I can. I managed to bathe and put on some fresh clothes. I made sure to take a bottle of mermaid tears and stuffed it in my pocket. That way, if I have a horrible cough, I have something to soothe it.