Thief of Twilight

Part Two: Chapter 49

I know I'm not going crazy. I know what I saw. Since that day, I've been trying my best to make sense of everything that has been happening. Of everything that I've seen and heard. I've been hearing Lord Baldwin's voice. I've been seeing Lord Baldwin's face. Hearing that disgusting laugh. What the hell is going on? Why is this happening?
I've kept to myself since the day I went to the art studio. I don't want to worry Yohan or Eunseo. Especially with the investigation going on. Maybe this is just a trauma response. Maybe...I'm just getting used to life without Lord Baldwin's presence. Maybe...this is just what I have to go through for the time being. I just wish it would stop.

As I slipped my arms through the sleeves of my robe, I took a deep breath. I just have to breathe. That's all I have to do. Focus on breathing.

"Zurine?"

I flinched at the sound of Yohan's voice. "Y-Yohan..."

He cocked his head to the side.

"H-How are you?" I put on a smile to appear as if everything was alright.

"I am alright." he pushed back the loose strands of hair from my face. "I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me on a walk around the pavilion."

"Yes!" I was almost too excited with my response. But I will take anything if it will distract me from seeing Lord Baldwin's face or hearing his voice.

Yohan smiled softly before holding out his arm. I wouldn't say I eagerly took his arm but I was happy to have some sort of comfort from his touch.

"Have you thought more about our wedding?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I looked at the water surrounding the banquet hall.

"I know that we briefly spoke about it. But do you know what you want to do?"

"Um..." I wasn't quite sure how to respond. "I...I haven't really thought about it..."

"Take your time. We don't have to rush. We can get married when you are ready."

I looked up before tugging on his arm. "Do you think I'm going to back out?"

"No, not necessarily." Yohan looked down at me. "But I don't want to scare you away."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Zurine, I have learned a few things about you during our short time together. You don't like to rush or make decisions without thinking them through. You prefer to take your time and plan things out accordingly."

"...I guess..." is that how I really come off?

"I also know that rushing you will only cause you to delay in making a decision. So it is best that I let you come to me when you are ready."

Wow.

I guess he really does know me pretty well. Even if most of the time I was deceiving him.

As we approached the pavilion, I let go of his arm. I walked to the wooden railing and gazed down at the water. Yohan stood beside me as a gentle breeze blew past us.

"Yohan."

"Yes?"

"Is...this...what it is like to live a normal life?"

Yohan thought for a moment. "I guess..." he crossed his arms. "What do you mean by that?"

"I don't really know." I looked up at him. "Up until now, I belonged to him. Lord Baldwin. So I was never able to really allowed to have normal or even regular life experiences. I guess what I'm asking is, is it normal to just be idle and not have a plan for the day or do anything at all?"