Love in the Limelight

Chapter Fifty Nine: Show him what he's missing

I think I waited up until about three in the morning before my brain finally allowed me to fall asleep. I kept my phone near me and the door open just in case. I say waited up but it was a mixture of seeing if he would come back and not being able to sleep from replaying the fight over and over again in my head. I had cried up against the closed door for about two hours after he left, wishing I hadn't told him to go. Part of me hoped he would have refused to leave and stay to talk to me but it was gut-wrenching to have that not be reality. Half of me was heartbroken but the other half of me was so mad at him. Both these feelings determined the different ways the fight could have played out in my head. It was like when you relive something over and over again in your head, wishing you had done or said something different at the time.

All of these feelings were left to dwell for both of us potentially a tad too long as it was now Friday morning and I haven't spoken to him at all since the fight Monday night. I had only seen him at work twice this week as he disappeared for a few days and both times I couldn't bring myself to say anything to him. I had texted him and called him a few times out of moments of weakness but they all went unanswered. I didn't feel the need to apologise because I thought I was wrong, I just wanted to for the sake of being in agony over this silent stance he was taking. At the same time, why wasn't he trying to make up for the sake of making up with me? I mean, what had I said that was so terrible? Yes, we had snapped at each other but at the end of the day, I had hoped he would support my decision and trust me. I don't deserve the silent treatment when I've done nothing wrong. I've done what I can to reach out and resolve this, now the ball is in his court. 

At least as I walked into work this week I wasn't completely alone. Sam had been at Joe's the night we had the fight and didn't find out till the day after but she then told Joe she would be home with me for the rest of the week which was nice. It was good to have some form of distraction, plus it felt like we hadn't had much time together lately. We spent the week doing nothing but talk, eat crap food and cry. Well, I cried, she just listened and fed me ice cream as I had done for her many times.

"Anything?" Asked Maya as I slumped down on the couch in her trailer next to Sam, Natalie was already in there and in costume sitting next to Maya in the spare makeup chair. I huffed and shook my head, fiddling with my J necklace. I refused to take it off regardless of everything that was happening. 

"Radio silence... still" I spoke quietly. Both Maya and Natalia let out a collective sigh.

"What the fuck is his problem?" Exclaimed Maya "I mean seriously, at the end of the day it's your choice and he needs to just support you. He's being such a douche" 

"Exactly" piped up Natalie from behind Maya, she moved her head so she could see me "Seriously Billie I think you just need to approach him, it's been five days of torture for you, enough is enough"

"We hate seeing you like this..." Maya added with a caring head tilt.

I knew they were right, I had thought about it myself the last two days. I was so over feeling like crap over this stupid fight. It was obvious to everyone how I was feeling too as I always dressed to fit my mood. It had been jeans and hoodies all week even though most days it was warm but I didn't care. I just wanted to hide. Not revealing to anyone that I had been wearing a few of Joseph's shirts secretly under my hoodies. 

He's being an idiot but he's still my idiot...

"And we are sooooo over these clothes Billie" Sam spoke up next to me, pulling at the pocket of my hoodie. "It's just not you and I bet it's not making you feel any better"

"Yeah you are having a bit of a wardrobe crisis when you normally always look so cute" said Natalia.

"Not cute, hot" Maya corrected sending me a smirk that made me smile. All the girl's words were filling me with a little confidence and hyping me up. Maybe they were right, I was tired of feeling like this as I said, maybe I should just show Joseph that I'm refusing to dwell on it anymore and he better get his shit together. "At the end of the day, he's missing out on you by continuing this childish silence, so show him what he's missing. No harm in being a little miss petty for the day"