I enjoy the silence. Its so loud in my life now...
THIS STORY CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT, VOLIENCE , BLOOD AND SUICIDE TALK. AND SEXUAL ASSAULT TALKS
Who knew going to the store would make you disappear forever?
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*** I know I said I wouldn't give anymore tw but i don't know if everyone knows about it so TWWWWWW
Harry styles
Never in a million years would I think I would see the day that she would give up on me. To read that fucking text, to tell me how much of a shitty person I am. Well it happend and well that's lead to me now sat here drinking in this little dim fucking room. It's usually flooded with light. Do I blame her for what she decided to do ? Fuck no. I would do the same too.
I've been sat here fucking staring at the wall with a bottle of vodka in my hand. I can't even remember that night, all I know is that I kissed another girl and then passed out on the bed. It's zayns fault or Ben's. Either one of them spiked my fuckin drink and I blacked out and let the darkness I've been trying so hard to push away loom over me again because no matter how drunk I get I will always remember fuckin a chick. No matter what I'm on. Apart from Halcion, tried it once and let's just say I fucked some shit up.
I need to speak to Mya. Try and get her to listen, because she won't even let me stay in her room for no longer than a minute without her pushing me out of the door with some painful fucking words. I need her to come around again. I miss her. I just want her back with me. Happy. I'm the happiest when I'm with her. She makes me fuckin want to live for eternity.
No harry you can't do that. She obviously needs space.
It wouldn't harm to try ?
No.
Yes. Just do it. Your a little fucking pussy if you don't do it. Your dad was always right, you could never be a man. Live up to that standard.
I don't want to invade her like that. She actually means something to me.
Fuck that. Your hurting and you need to put it onto someone else.
"She's already fuckin hurting you prick!" My inner voices push me to my fuckin limit all the time and I'm done! Fuckin done! The bottle I had in my hand seconds ago is now shattered against the wall opposite me, fingers kitted in my hair. I stare at the clear liquid trickle down the wallpaper
I need to just see her. Tell her I'm sorry. Luckily for me, Mya had finally come back to staying in hotels after crusing with poppy and her boyfriend.
I pace around the room. Considering, overthinking, planning, disagreeing , agreeing with myself on what to do. But like always I chose myself and become selfish because I'm grabbing my leather jacket off the floor as I rush towards the door.
