I'm Fine

Part 2: Chapter 30

"Mommy, you're late." Thirty minutes late to be exact.

"I know. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"It's okay," she shrugged looking up at me. I smiled down at her.

"Don't forget your things baby." She giggled and walked back over to get her book bag and her lunchbox. I stood up.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I told her teacher. Royce made her way back over to me and waved her teachers goodbye as we left. I tried so hard to keep my frustrated tears from falling. It was only after I made dinner, gave Royce a bath, and talked her to sleep that I could finally process today's events. All of my emotions came flooding in. And I got absolutely no sleep the entire night.

.....

The entire week went by of me just going through the motions. I honestly felt like a zombie. I barely got any sleep since I've been overthinking everything. I wanted to call Meech and ask if he could have a background check run on my father to see if he had any other kids besides me, but I kept chickening out. I almost didn't even care to know. If I start asking questions about my father, I know that I'll get answers that I won't like. I don't know where he's been or what he has been doing all these years, but if it turns out that he's been out here living his best happy life with a wife and kids, I will lose my shit. He left me with that woman for what? Because he ain't care about me or my well-being, so why now? Why is his quote on quote daughter popping up and why is he supposedly trying to get in contact with me NOW? I don't understand, but I don't want to understand either. Or do I?

"Come on Royce!" I yelled trying to get her attention from wherever she was in the house. We were about to leave to head to the skating rink. I thought it would be cool and a fun thing to do since Royce is about to be five in two days. She actually asked me if she could do something with some of her friends from preschool. I wasn't opposed to it so I called up each of the kids parents, a total of five kids, and I introduced myself. For me, if my kid is going somewhere I want to know who she's gonna be with, where they're going, for how long, etc. I need a step by step agenda of everything. So, I wanted to take the initiative, which is why I spent the better half of an hour talking to each parent throughout the span of this week. I told them it was Royce's birthday coming up and that she wanted to go skating. They all agreed.

"Royce come on, we're going to be late!" I heard her feet slap the floor as she ran down the hall and around the corner.

"Where are your shoes?" She lifted her arm up showing me her shoes in her hand. She plopped down to put them on when I stopped her.

"You can put them on in the car. I'm serious, we are literally about to be late." I scooped her up awkwardly in my arms and carried her to the car. My baby was getting heavy. I locked up the house and went around to her side of the car. She had just finished putting her shoes on. I inspected them and she for once had them on the right foot.

"Good job." I held my hand up and she gave me a high five. She buckled herself in as I watched and then we were off.

"Riley and Alexa and Josh and Keyonna and... umm..."

"Jonathan," I finished for her.

"Yes! We umm...they are coming to skate with me."

"Yes baby," I entertained her as she just went on and on in excitement the whole car ride. When we pulled up, we got out and made our way to the line. Tonight is kids night for ages 8 and younger. They also have a pre-teens night, a teens night, an adults night, and an elders night. I didn't even know skating rinks catered to different age groups like that. I thought that was really cool. I've actually been skating a few times, but Royce has never been so this should be interesting.