I'm Fine

Part 1: Chapter 19

It's been three months since I moved into my new place. I thought it wasn't worth the trouble to go get the rest of my stuff, so I invested in a completely new bed. I ordered a night stand, a dresser, a cute little couch for downstairs, and more. My place is almost completely furnished and decorated except for the spare room.

Also, I started therapy. It's weird and awkward, but I try. I'm not used to openly talking about my feelings.

D comes by to check up on me, but that's about it. I usually just spend time with his sister, Robyn, who I have gotten close to. She is much older than me, but we get along well, and she helps me adjust to adulthood. She helped me get health insurance, dental insurance, my social security card, and other important documents that I will need for the future.

Since I graduated high school, I've been working on and off at the diner. My idea of getting another job was shot down immediately due to my high risk pregnancy. So, I seem to have a lot of time on my hands this summer. If I'm not at a doctor's appointment, I'm with Robyn. If I'm not with Robyn, I'm in therapy. If I'm not in therapy, I'm preparing for school, which is approaching very soon. Like, in two to three weeks soon. I still keep in contact with Briana and them, but I heard Cairo, Derek, and Brandon are leaving this weekend for school. April moved maybe a month ago to Massachusetts. She got a condo down there and is attending Harvard in the fall. Ashanti is going to cosmetology school here in the fall and Briana is also going to school here in Georgia, but I'm not sure where.

I decided last minute to attend a community college close by. It's not what I had in mind, but it's the best option and it's way cheaper, damn near free for
me. I applied really late, but after pleading with administration, they accepted me. I never thought I would be going to a community college, not because I look down on them, but because I had big plans. I wanted to get as far away from here as possible. But, I'm pregnant now and I can't be selfish. Dashawn is so happy to be a soon-to-be father with his first child. Shocking, I know right. But, he wanted the baby and I didn't have it in me to tell him no. I know it's my body and I can do what I want, but it's also his child, and I didn't want to take that away from him. Just the thought of a living thing growing inside of me scares the shit out of me. I've bawled my eyes out enough over these past few months just thinking about it.

Now, summer is about over and I'm starting a new chapter of my life. Hopefully I'm far enough away that I don't ever have to run into my mom or Kennedy on the street. My townhouse is on the other side of town and my school is a little bit further up the road as well. I pray that this distance is enough for me.

I step out the shower and dry off. I wrap the towel around my body and walk to the sink. I make work to apply leave in conditioner to my hair and use a wide tooth comb to detangle it. My hair has gotten longer and fuller since I started getting my health back on track, and I desperately need a trim.

I then applied some curl activator moisturizer and sectioned my hair off. I decided on a twist out, so I let my hair air dry. After dressing in a over-sized graphic tee and leggings, I made my way downstairs for breakfast. I ended up making some turkey bacon and sausages, but as soon as I got a whiff of the aroma, I gagged. I took the food off of the burner and gagged again. I barely made it to the trash can before I let the bile flow. I ran to the kitchen window and opened it, letting some air in.

I guess I'm skipping breakfast today. I trudged upstairs to rinse my mouth out. After awhile, I went back downstairs to close the window and lock up to leave. I got in the car and threw my purse into the passenger seat. Oh, yeah, I've also been driving this summer. I'm still new, but I passed everything on my first attempt and now I don't depend on anyone. It's a simple, unimpressive car, but I love it. I keep it clean and I drive safe.