Spencer Reid: Oneshots

Love You Too Much

Summary: Spencer finds himself struggling with work more after starting a family.

12 years. Spencer had been with the FBI since he was 22, and he was 34 now. It was strange to think about really, but he had always managed to put up with every ounce of pressure with relative ease. Sure, personal issues added to things occasionally, but he usually was able to push cases out of his mind. Occasionally an unsub would be like him, and he'd feel haunted by it, but he moved on.

That was until you came along.

Spencer loved you so much more than anyone, you included, would even begin to understand. He felt like you were one of the first people to ever properly understand who he truly was and embrace it, your two personalities balancing out in near-perfect harmony.

That was what made work so much harder.

Seeing victims' partners coming into police stations, breaking down at the news, struggling to say two words without sobbing. All Spencer could think about was you, what if it was him grieving you—or worse—you grieving over him. It was probably stupid, but the thought always lingered in the back of his mind when working.

It got even worse when you told him the news that night a few months ago. How 2 words changed his entire perspective on the job, perhaps even more than the two exchanged at your wedding.

"I'm pregnant."

Many emotions flooded his body. Joy, terror, shock, but it wasn't until later that a feeling of guilt came over him. Spencer felt like he was barely there enough for you, what about his own child? Even worse, what if something happened to him in the field with a kid at home? But yet, as he held his daughter in his arms for the first time, those fears were washed away.

You brushed your fingers along the delicate cheeks of your baby, one of the two people you loved most of all. "Night, night, C/N," you cooed. You gently placed her down, switching the monitor on, and taking a few moments to just observe the girl. It still boggled your mind that this living person was half you and half Spencer—though he said that wasn't how it really worked. You yawned, going into the living room to wait out Spencer's return.

Spencer gently creaked open the door, peering his head in. The clouded head of his cleared the moment he saw you, the love of his life, sprawled across the couch and half asleep. "How are you so beautiful?"

"Mmm," you muttered, rubbing your eyes. "Spence?"

"Did you wait for me..?"

You sat up slowly, not even noticing the mess of hair atop your head. "Mhm."

"Y/N, you should be asleep."

"I don't have work tomorrow, and I wanted to see you."

"The morning—"

"I'm not a profiler, but you didn't seem so happy when you called earlier."

"What?"

"I know you, Spence. We've been dating for 5 years and married for 2, I can figure out when my own husband isn't so happy."

He swallowed. "It's hard."

"Hey," you soothed. "Your job is so hard, and we both know it. The stuff you see—"

"It isn't that."

"Huh? Then what is it?"

He looked at you, his eyes overflowing. "You."

"...me?"

"C/N."

"I don't understand."

"Every time I work a case with kids, all I think about is C/N. I never understood JJ and Hotch until now, and it terrifies me. Not to mention that I'm worried I'll miss her growing up and—"

"Spencer Walter Reid, do not say something like that," you snapped. "You are the farthest thing from an absent father. You are a dedicated, brave, and necessary worker to keep people safe, but you still would do anything for the people you love, especially C/N and I."

"I just could be—"

"There are always coulds and shoulds in this life, Spencer, but you know that your conscience will guide you properly. And believe me when I tell you that any job besides this one is not a good fit for you." A small smile broke on your face.

"You think so?"

"You may be a genius, but a desk job would destroy you."

He chuckled. "You're right as per usual." He gently pressed his lips to yours.

You smiled. "It's my specialty." You took his hand in yours. "Do you wanna talk about the case?"

He exhaled. "Moms and their daughters."

You looked at your feet. "I see."

"I just...I never thought this stuff would hit me so hard until I met you and had C/N."

"I know, I know." Your grip tightened on his hand.

"I would be so lost without you, you know."

"Trust me, I do." You ruffled his hair. "Very well actually."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He fidgeted with his free hand and shirt buttons. "Is C/N asleep?"

"Mhm."

"Oh—"

"5 minutes."

He smiled. "I love you."

"Go, your timer started."

"Right! Okay!" He hopped up, rushing to her room. And for five minutes, he simply paced the room, holding his daughter to his chest as if nothing mattered to him more.

You couldn't resist watching, it was precious. When you saw him begin to put her down, you sprinted to your bed, acting so if you had been there the whole time. "Hey."

"Hi." He got into bed, rolling over to face you.

"Feeling better?"

"I felt better the moment I saw you."

You scoffed, rolling over. "You're so cheesy."

He propped his chin onto your arm, leaning over onto you. "Noooo, don't leave me."

You rolled your eyes. "Drama—SPENCER!" You laughed hysterically as he wrapped one arm around your waist, tickling you with the other. "SPENCE! STOP IT!"

"Nope."

"SPENCE!" You kept cracking up as he pulled your back against his chest, burying his face into your hair. You quieted down. "Spence?"

"Mm?"

"Promise me that you'll tell me when things are tough, okay?"

"I do."

"I mean it. You are everything to me, and I want you to tell me these things."

The boy nodded into your hair. "I will, really."

You gently put your lips to his, the two of you just taking a moment to be close to each other before falling asleep, foreheads against each other's.