Night Changes [N.H]

Chapter 44

I pulled my head up and looked through my sunglasses at the crowd. 

"Let's go," I said to the security guard. I took uneasy steps towards the boat and kept my head down and away just in case anybody noticed my connections to Niall, but I was also careful not to look suspicious. 

Once I was in the boat, the security departed. I looked around, and there were other people on the boat besides just us. I gritted my teeth and looked around for Niall, even though I knew I should avoid him. 

I noticed him walking through the crowd towards me. I glared at him, turned around, and walked into a bathroom, locking the door. 

I heard him knocking as soon as the door closed.

"Alyssa, I'm sorry," Niall said. He knew me well enough to know what I was upset about. 

"Why would you bring me here?" I asked, a lump in my throat. 

"I didn't want to make you mad-"

"I know you don't want to, but it always seems like the same thing every time we think of doing something! I thought we had both learned that we can't do things like this! I'm not even mad, I'm just disappointed."

Niall was quiet for a second. 

"I know I said I needed to let loose a bit, but not like this. We could ruin everything by just being seen together, and you know that."

There was no point in Niall saying anything. He knew he had screwed up, again, and that nothing he could say would change my mind. 

"Do you know how uncomfortable I feel when I'm exposed to all of the fans and other people? I can't even have somebody look at me anymore without thinking that they know or that they're going to figure it out somehow."

I didn't even know if Niall was still outside, or if I was just talking to a door, but I might as well be talking to the door, because it's not like he had been listening to a word I've said up until this point. 

I took a deep breath and took a step away from the door. The bathroom was small and cramped. 

"You know what," I began in a quieter tone. "Just go see Liam and Louis and the girls and get photographed. Once the boat starts moving we'll be far from the photographers and I'll pretend I'm nothing more than a friend of Sophia's."

I heard Niall take a deep breath. 

"Are you sure? I could wait here for you," he said. 

"People are probably looking for you anyway. Just show your face around and then I'll come out when the attention lessens."

Niall paused for a few seconds before speaking again. "I'm really sorry."

"I know," I responded. I heard his heavy footsteps grow quieter. I flipped the toilet seat down to sit down, and then buried my face in my knees. 

I didn't know what it would take for him to learn that we weren't a normal couple. We couldn't go out on dates like normal couples could, we couldn't ride in the same car, go for a bite to eat, or even walk within twenty feet of each other. 

Maybe he wouldn't learn until he exposed us, and if that was so, so be it. His actions were out of my control. 

I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn't crying, but my makeup was a bit smudged from my distress. I wiped under my eyes and fixed my hair.

A few minutes later there was a knock on the bathroom door. I froze. The only way I could know who it was would be by opening the door. 

This was a bathroom, not a mini apartment. For all I knew, there could be a line of people outside waiting to use the bathroom.