Jealous | Tommyinnit angst

52 ➪ You Win This Time.

I'm sorry.

To whoever sees me like this first.
I just really want to say that
What else do I write?

I don't know

Maybe i

I scrunched up the paper into a small ball and threw it into the trash. Another failure.

I can't even write a simple suicide note? I'm pathetic.

I slouched back in my chair and groaned, feeling a wave of anger rush over me.

Hopefully this actually fucking kills me
That would be embarrassing otherwise
Sorry I had to go so soon, don't let it get to you
I'm just dead weight anyway, i only drag you all down.

So I'm sorry, dont forget me.

Is that good?..

I reread it, making sure it was alright. This just felt like a rant note, it's not even meaningful. Maybe I just shouldn't leave a note.. Ughhhh

I got up out of my sweaty chair, walking swiftly downstairs. Karl and Tommy were in the kitchen.

"Hey, Wilbur! Want anything?" Karl smiled at me.

"Uhh.. Do we still have those strawberries?" I asked, he nodded and handed me some out of the fridge.

I ate straight from the carton, not caring anyway. "What have you been up to?" Tommy asked.

"Nothing much." I replied dryly.

"You sure?"

"Yes." I glared at him, hopefully he takes the hint.

Karl raised an eyebrow at me. "You guys go to school tomorrow, by the way."

"Really?!" Tommy's eyes had stars in them.

"Noooooo..." I groaned. Just another reason.

"C'mon, Wilbur.. It won't be that bad!" Karl smiled.

"How can you be so sure.?" I grumbled.

"I just know!"

"mmh.." I rolled my eyes, "Anyways, what's for dinner."

"We're having just pasta." Karl responded.

"Alright.." This conversation is agonizing.

"Be down at 8."

I gave a quick mhm and then ran off back to my room.

I can't go to school

I'm gonna get hurt again I know it. I should just end it here.
I let my thoughts ooze onto the paper, feeling my eyes start to tear up a little. I can't I can't I can't.

Im sorry im so so sorry please just dont forget me
Im sorry I care for you all but i just cant anymore
Goodbye :(

I stared at the messy writing I had scribbled down. Quickly, I stood up and walked downstairs and into the garage, sneakily. I searched the dark and run down room for a rope, anything to get rid of this pain.