Jealous | Tommyinnit angst

39 ➪ He Never Meant It.

I was astonished at how bold Wilbur was, Quackity listened and walked out. "Tommy, are you alright?" Wilbur asked, completely ignoring Karls sobbing.

"I'm fine. Karl are you alright?" I comforted. He had fully stopped crying by now, I still felt bad.

"I don't even know.. I forgive them but it sends me into so much of a panic when they fight-.. We are literally dating I don't get why they fight?! It isn't healthy!" Karl yelled, I knew I was the reason for their fighting.

"Karl.. Should I just go live with someone else? With Phil or Dream..?" I looked down.

"What?! No?? N-not Phil. He's in.. Nevermind. But you cannot go back with him, and I'd rather have you here." Karl rambled, he confused me.

"But I cause all the fights?.. Im the reason you're hurting. It's always me." I mumbled.

"T-Tommy.. it isn't you-"

"It's clearly him." Wilbur butted in with an angry tone.

"What?" Karl and I both said in unison.

"You heard me."

"It isn't his fault!?" Karl defended me, he had an aggressive look spread across his face. The air I breathed was heavy and tension-full. Not a good tension.

"IT IS! KARL SHUT UP!" Wilbur yelled.

"WHAT IS YOUR ISSUE?!" Karl snapped back.. God I just got here. Why do we always have to fight!?

"MY ISSUE IS YOU ARE COMPLETELY LOOKING OVER THE FACT. TOMMY. CAUSES ALL THE FUCKING PROBLEMS! HES A PROBLEM!" Wilbur insulted me. My own brother, I didn't even know where Technoblade is. No one does.

"WILBUR STOP!" Karl screamed at the top of his lungs.

"OR WHAT!?"

"OR NOTHING WE ARE FUCKING DONE HERE!!" Karl exclaimed, trying to desperately end this argument.

"NOT UNTIL YOU-"

"Please s-stop.." I whispered to myself, they just kept screaming at eachother.

I hated how easily I cried. I wish it were like when I was at my dad's- .. No I don't. Do I? I can't fathom going back there but I just want to be better. I was better, I barely cried.

I sobbed into my hands. my chest felt empty, like it needed air. I didn't want to have another panic attack. not again. I'm tired.

I was way to zoned out to realize they were trying to calm me down. I was having a panic attack again. My mind was unaware of how my body was functioning, I could sense my breathing pattern was off. I got really lightheaded.

"TOMMY?!" Wilbur shouted. It reminded me of when he first found out I self harmed. I thought about the fact that he and Karl were so worried. Worrying them is a bad thing.

"God- TOMMY!" Karl shouted. I swiftly snapped my neck back to him. Looking him in the eyes and calming down. My normal breathing pattern coming back, but still very heavy.

All sounds suddenly disappeared, I couldn't hear anything. Then my vision got waves in it, slowly fading.

Karl POV

Tommy suddenly passed out in my arms, luckily he wasn't hurt. I put him into his bed and put a wet rag on his head, in hopes it would cool him down. It was really hot here. Wilbur and I were not on good terms, We never were to start.

I was really worrying about Sapnap and Quackity.. Do they both hate my guts? Why are they even with me if they want to fight? If I'm also a problem, why pity me.
It's always pity, isn't it?

I stumbled into Sapnap's room. he was sitting on his bed, facing the wall to where I couldn't see his face.

"Sapnap?" I mumbled, putting an arm out.

"What do you need." He snarked.

"Uhm- I just wanted to make sure you are alright-?.. I'm really worried.." I cracked with a shattered voice.

"I'm fine. I cleaned the cut." His voice was stone cold. He still didn't face me either, I don't think he's ok.

"It's not only the cut you kno-"

"I said I'm fine!" His mood changed drastically, the voice he had sounded strained and tired. I couldn't blame him, there was a lot of yelling.

"O-ok.. Please just talk to me if you are hurt. I'm sorry If I was rude." I whimpered, hobbling out of his room. I shut the door as quietly as I could.

I felt a little scared to go into Quackity's room. I feel as if he's gonna go ham on me with emotions, I was right.

I creaked open the door and crept in quietly, He was sitting just like Sapnap was. except he was sobbing loudly into a pillow. Oh god..

"Quack- Quackity?.." I spoke in a hushed tone.

"What.." He had a whiny voice and was obviously surprised by my presence. He sniffled and wiped his tears with his sleeves.

"Are you ok..?" I already knew the answer.

"No! Sapnap hates me..! What's even the point anymore." He turned dull, tears still falling down his face.

I walked over to him and sat next to him, "I don't think he hates you, Quackity. And don't say that!" I bopped his head, He didn't even laugh. My stomach churned.

"I just wish we didn't fight.. It hurts so bad, mentally and emotionally physically and just UGH! I DON'T GET HOW HE JUST FORGIVES AND FORGETS!? I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT BECAUSE OF IT!! I WISH THAT WAS ME. I really wish I could stop caring.." He yelled at the top of his lungs, still sobbing. All I could hear was raw emotion from his voice. I felt horrible.

"I'm so sorry.. Maybe you guys should take a little time apart?" I suggested.

"B-but.. I don't want to leave him.." He murmured.

"It's gonna take time to be how it was before, But that time doesn't exactly have to be bad?" I smiled a little.

He was still crying, "I want to t-talk to him.. But I know- know he doesn't want me in his sight.." Quackity trembled.

"What makes you say that?"

"He told me.. When- When we were fighting that. He wants me gone- a-and he never even cared for me.. is that even true?" Quackity questioned everything. Why would Sapnap say that?! He is never like that.. I think his anger gets the best of him sometimes.

"He didn't mean it, Quack." I mumbled and hugged him.

Quackity sputtered,
"He never meant it."