Jealous | Tommyinnit angst

31 ➪ He Ignored Me.

Wilbur POV

I wanted to be Karl so bad. So so bad. I envied his whole life. He hasn't dealt with any trauma, He's perfect, He deals with his issues rightfully, Tommy likes him more then me.. I hurt Tommy. I always do. Tommy is suffering and it's my fault.. No. No, it's Karl's fault.

I watched as Karl walked out of the room, leaving Tommy with me. "Karl didn't want to leave you.." Tommy mumbled.

"He doesn't care about me, Tommy. It's obvious he is just pretending and lying." I snarked.

"He does!" Tommy exclaimed.

"Tommy, no he doesn't! I can see it in his face." I spat in sadness.

"Wilbur! Why can't you just listen to me!! You're acting like Phil right now!" Tommy lashed out, instantly covering his mouth.

"W-what..?" I felt tear prick my eyes. Was I really..? I don't.. I don't want to be like him.. I wanted to be anything but him. I wanted to be Karl. What would Karl do..?

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean that I- I lashed out..!" Tommy had tears in his eyes too.

"Tommy, it's ok." I tried to calm myself and act mature. Would Karl do that?

"What?! You are literally crying right now. Stop it!" Tommy yelled, now he's mad.. I can never impress them. Nothing I do is ever good enough.

I can't even yell right now.. I have no way out. "Leave." My words were stern. He apologized once more then left.

"I was so mean.. I am like Phil.... J-just like him." I sniffled. Grabbing my box of cigarettes.. They were an escape, but what Phil taught me was even better.

I lit one and smoked it for a little, then I grabbed the hot side. Staring at its orange tone. Quickly, I pressed it down on my leg, harshly. Phil told me to leave it there for awhile.. Was that true?. I let it sit, feeling tears prick my eyes as I started crying.

"God.. I-... I did it." I huffed. That was the first time I had done it for that long, before I was too much of a pussy but now I feel fine. I lifted up the cigar and saw a massive burn mark. It hurt to touch.

I didn't bandage it or clean it at all, just finished the cigarette then sat up. Walking back to the kitchen, I see all of my friends. If I could call them that. I looked like Phil in their eyes.

Karl POV

I watched as Wilbur walked in, I felt so bad for him. I regret leaving him alone.. He must've gone through so much. In only a week?!

He shot me a snarky glare, Did I do something? Was he still mad.. Oh god... What if he hates me? Does he? He wants me dea- No. No it's fine.

He suddenly tapped me on the shoulder, I cocked my head towards him. He motioned for me to follow him, confusing.

"I need to talk to you. Serious." Wilbur led me to the kitchen.

"What is it?" I asked, scratching my head.

"What is your issue with me?" Wilbur snapped.

"What?! Nothing?? I don't have an issue with you." I exclaimed, very confused.

"Well I have a problem with you! You were the reason Tommy almost died! You interfere with him and I! You are j-just better then me!" Wilbur yelled at me.

"Stop that! I don't try to! and no I did NOT! You weren't there to help him so I saved him myself! If anything you did it by sending those awful texts!!!" I got defensive and yelled at him.

"You left me behind! You are so ANNOYING!" Wilbur screamed.

"I'M NOT ANNOYING?! YOU ARE THE ONE BEING A JEALOUS BITCH!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! FUCKING LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SAY YOUR WHOLE FUCKING EXISTENCE ANNOYS ME!" Wilbur drew the line.

"WELL YOUR WHOLE FUCKING EXISTENCE IS USELESS!" What was I doing? This was a child I was yelling at.. I didn't mean that??

Wilbur looked at me with a sour face, then started crying. "Nononono- Wilbur, I-I'm so sorry.." I apologized rapidly.

"WHY WOULD YOU-.. W-Hy.. why?"

He slid down to the floor and sobbed, Why did I say that?! He's been through so much.. I make it worse. "I didn't mean that Wilbur. I'm sorry I lashed out, can you forgive me?"

Wilbur stifled his sobs and looked up at me, "Wh-why.."

"Why what?"

"Why are you so.. P-perfect.. I want to just be you. I want to be free. I can't take this." Wilbur cried and hugged me tightly.

"You are perfect.. And why? I'm not perfect at all! I just yelled at you.. Do you even know what I've dealt with.?" I exclaimed, hugging him tightly.

"N-no.. But how.. I just wanna... B... be.." He then passed out in my arms.. Why was he so tired all of a sudden? I picked him up lightly, I swear I saw something around the corner. Probably just paranoia. I've always had that. Things are shit right now, it must be coming back...

I carried him to his room and laid him on his bed. Swiftly, I snatched his cigarette box. He won't have them again, sorry Wil. I walked out of his room. regretting everything that happened. I wish I hadn't ever said that.. He'll use it against himself. And me too. I'm not important to this though? It's Wilbur who was hurt. Not me.

I walked downstairs and sat down again.

"Hey, Sapnap." I smiled and sat next to him on the couch.

"What did Wilbur say to you?" Sapnap got straight to the point.

"We had a fight.. It wasn't good." I mumbled.

"I'm not gonna question it." Sapnap rolled his eyes and sighed.

"I said something I regret, So did he."  When I said that Tommy threw a glance at me. Not a pleasant one. He looked angry and upset.. Did he hear our conversation? Maybe that's what I saw. Shit.

"It's alright! Did you apologize?" Quackity smiled. I was about to answer until he put a hand on my head.

I flinched. "P-please don't.." I felt tears prick, then Sapnap rub my back.

"Its alright.. You're safe." I was now crying.. Why was someone touching my head so triggering!? I hated Phil. He hurt everyone so much.. I always love and do head pats.. But I.. I can't anymore?

I looked up and saw Quackity rapidly apologizing. I then looked at Tommy.

He was walking off to the upstairs..

He looked sad.

He ignored me.