Beyond That

Chapter 86, "Talks"

Kara's POV

I can't believe I'm in the car with Jonah right now. He's driving around and silence is clearly in the air with us, and where we're going, I don't know. But I made the decision to go with him so we could talk but I just have a bad feeling now. And my sobriety is coming back so this is just ughhh..

"You okay?" Jonah asked, taking his eyes off the road to observe me.

"Yeah, just a little woozy but I'm good. Um....where are we going?" I peeked out the window.

"I don't know, I'm just driving. Do you want to stop somewhere?"

"Sure."

He drove about 5 miles down the road we were already on until we pulled up at a abandoned warehouse. This is um sketchy but I guess it's a good place to talk. He put the car in park and turned to fully face me. I undid my seat belt and did the same.

"So," I sighed, "I'm sorry about what Zayn said. It obviously upset you and that wasn't fair although I don't think some of the things you said were fair to him either."

"It's cool, I get it and I don't want to talk about him. I want to talk about us."

"Us?"

"Us," he smiled. I looked away because I can't handle the eye contact right now, I might lose myself.

"What about us?"

"I can't get you off my mind Kara," he huffed, "It's so frustrating because you're like my strange addiction and it burns that we left things off not too great."

"I wonder why," I cocked my head, "Hmm, girlfriend maybe? All a lie maybe.....?"

"It wasn't all a lie and you know that. I love you Kara and I still do, I fucking always will. You are by far someone who's consumed me with just the person you are and I can't let you go."

"But you did let me go," I shook my head.

"I didn't want to. You told me to go and I didn't want to upset or hurt you more than I already did so I did what you told me. If I'd thought you wanted me to stay then I would've stayed but I knew you were too hurt to even look at me."

"No Jonah, I was too hurt because of YOU to look at HIM. Not once did I feel I couldn't look at you, I was in love with you."

"Was? You don't love me anymore?"

"No," I laughed, "No, you don't get to ask me a dumb ass question that you know the answer to."

"I think you love me but I don't know."

"Well that's your fault Jonah because you should know. I'm not holding what you did to me over your head because I would never do that but stop being dumb right now."

"I miss you like crazy," he sighed.

"I know."

"You're a constant reminder of what I lost and I'm really sorry. If I could take the fucked up parts back then I would."

"I know."

"Stop saying I know Kara."

"I know."

"So you don't care? I'm just talking to my self right?" he furrowed.

"Nope, trust me Jonah I hear you but I don't know what to say. You can't just come back into my life because you miss me. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"

"I don't want to ruin what you have going on with...... you know........"

"We aren't together."