Beyond That

Chapter 45, "Gone..."

Kara's POV

When the boys left, I packed up all of my things quietly so no one would hear me. This has been on my mind heavy before I even allowed myself to do anything with Zayn.

I had already made my mind up which is why I wanted him one more time before I left. For good. I know it's wrong of me for leaving with his child but why am I sticking around?

Harry's right, no matter how much people care and try for me, I push them away and there's no way I'll ever let them in. I don't even know who I am anymore so I think it's best for me to leave and figure that out whilst I still have hope.

I waited until all the girls were in their rooms and I started moving half of my stuff to the truck. I don't need to bring everything nor am I about to lift all of that. I went back in the house for the final time to write a note.

The first note I wrote was to the family:

       Dear mi familia, by the time you read this I'll be gone and I don't want you to look for me. I'm sorry christmas is coming up and we planned to do something special but please understand I have to go. It's not my best decision, but it is mine.
     You all have shown me so much from the time knowing you that I can't explain the love you hold in my heart. You guys taught me what having a house full of siblings was like and I thank you for it.
      Although, I'm parting ways I don't want you to feel like I've betrayed you all. This is for me and we will see each again, just not for a while. Please take care of Zayn. I don't know how he'll take this but I don't want him to lose himself.
        Louis and Eleanor you guys are some of the greatest parents I know, just get married already and tell my nephew Frankie I love him as I do you guys.
        Niall and Amelia stay loving one another as you do now, and Niall have some damn kids already.
        Liam and Maya, you know what to do next.. what are you waiting for? Oh and Maya thanks for being the best best friend ever, Take care of her Liam.
       Jayda and Harry, the amount of history you guys contain is just crazy. You made the best kids in the world and I hope you'll tell them just how much they made me happy. I'm sorry for acting the way I acted towards you both, I just hate how you care so much. Jayda thanks for being the sister I never had, and I know you'll get everything you want in life if you haven't gotten it already. And Harry I'll be playing that album from a distance sir.
      Lastly, enjoy your lives folks. I love you and until we meet again. I love you all and thank you so much for accepting me into this lovely batch.
                                                            With love, Kara S.

Once I finished up the letter I left it on the kitchen counter and proceeded to write Zayn's.

        Hey bubba. I know you're confused and you will be for a while but you'll get better. Do me a favor and don't blame yourself, okay? Because none of this is your fault. I need to find a light and I can't do that if I'm there...with you..
      If you haven't noticed we bring out the best and the worst thing in each other and I don't see that in a bad way. I'm sorry for saying you'll never see your child because that's not true, I will never keep you away but right now I have to be alone. I hope you'll find your way too....
        Don't drive yourself insane, it won't always be this way. I know I provoke you but you still find a way to love me through my worst. Always do that baby.
       At last, Zayn Malik, you know how much I love you which is why I can't say all that I have to say on this piece of paper. Don't look for me because you won't find me. When I'm ready, I'll find you just like I once did before. I love you.... 
                                                        Yours truly, Kara S.