Beyond That

Chapter 61, "Fine Line"

Zayn's POV

I grabbed Kara's arm and lead her to our room. This whole madness is funny as fuck. Jayda had Eleanor over the boat, Kara knocked Amelia out, like jeez I want to laugh so bad but it's time for things to be serious.

Kara and I stepped in the room, and I slowly closed the door behind us. Whatever outcome this conversation has, I just pray she doesn't leave me for good. I know we can make this work, I wouldn't be here if I thought we couldn't.

"You okay, you calm?" I asked.

"Yeah, let's just get this over with," she sighed.

"Yeah...."

"Zayn, I love you but this..." she mimicked both of us, "Is toxic."

"How is it toxic?"

"How is it not?"

"I admit we're both a little crazy but that just makes us love each other more," I shrugged.

"You hear how that sounds?"

"Kara, if you want to fucking leave then do it. We don't have to have this conversation!"

"But we are having it! You always think I'm going to leave you, when will you realize I won't? I don't think you get how much patience I've had with you Zain."

"And I haven't had patience with you?" I laughed, "You didn't always want me Kara so don't pretend you did. Yes you waited for me but that was only because you were scared. 5 years ago, you were scared! Not me, I was ready."

"So you were ready to be with me even when you were with Perrie?" She questioned, making my blood boil, "How about 10 years ago? Were you ready then?"

She knows I don't like talking about that girl and yet here she goes bringing up the fucking past. Throwing some of my biggest regrets in my face.

"You're making this really hard," I clenched.

"What? For you to hit me, for you not to say something reckless? What Zayn!"

"Shut the fuck up Kara!"

"Make me!"

"You know I will!" I said, clenching my fists into a ball.

"Dude," she sighed, "I can't anymore."

"Can't what?"

"I can't! I can't be with you anymore Zayn."

Her words cut down my chest like a damn knife. What did she say? I didn't hear it, the words never came out, this is all a dream. I know she doesn't mean it, but that shit is still harsh.

"So that's it? You're just going to leave?"

"No, I'm sorry I said that.. I didn't even mean it," she admitted.

"Just go ahead and leave just like everyone else Kara!"

"No, I'm not."

"But that's what you're doing!"

"I'm not doing anything, you're pushing me away and you'll never stop. You'll never change, will you?" she asked, searching my eyes for an answer.

I know what answer she's looking for and I know I can give it to her because I will change. For her, I'll do anything but it's never going to be enough. It won't change anything because no matter what, I'll end up alone anyway.

"You right, I won't change so we can just call this quits," I shrugged.

Her pupils got larger than normal just as her eyes watered up. I knew my words were a stab to her beautiful chest but she has to let me go.