Night Changes [N.H]

Chapter 40

I would never be able to live with myself if Owen didn't want to live this life anymore. I didn't even know if I could live this life anymore.

Maybe it was my mood swings that added to the extremity of anger, but I felt doomed. There were so many doors I could walk through, but none of them were completely safe. 

I knew Niall would help me build a bridge. This wouldn't last forever, but it felt like it.

At least I wasn't sleeping alone anymore.

After feeling this way for a few days, I knew I had to shake it off. It was bothering me so much, and I just needed to stop thinking about it.

Crew members were starting to fly in to get ready for the first show of the tour, but still no sign of anybody else from the band.

Niall said he wanted to introduce me to a few security guards as a friend of his that worked in the crew, for my own safety. I agreed with him, I would be needing as much security as I could get.

I went to the venue to see how the progress was going and to meet with Lou and the other stylists to confirm the wardrobe and other things for the tour.

Niall has had the same hair for about three years, so it wasn't a big deal that I had to go. Niall wanted to come for support just to get a sneak peak of everything, but I told him that it would draw too much attention to us. Not to mention that all of the crew members would see we were together. 

I also needed to be around people.

I caught a ride to the venue and wore my crew lanyard pass, and now the laminate sat comfortably on my stomach.

There was security everywhere, and they pointed me in the direction of the other stylists. Eventually I found the room where they were. The meeting was informal, we all sat on couches.

I walked in, and Lou jumped out of her seat to greet me.

"Hi Alyssa!" She said, giving me a hug. I smiled and patted her back. "How are you."

"I'm hanging on," I said. I looked at the other people in the room. Lottie, Caroline, and a few other unfamiliar faces sat around a table. 

I pushed my hair behind my shoulder and took a seat next to Lou and Lottie. 

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but you're pregnant, aren't you?" Lottie asked in a quiet tone. 

"As far as I know," I said. 

"You have to be seven months now, right?" Lou asked. 

"Yes I am," I agreed. 

"I had no idea!" Lottie said. "Congratulations!" 

"Thanks," I said. There was no hiding it anymore like for the last tour. Everybody I would see would know I was pregnant, and it was only a matter of time before Niall and I screwed up again.

I sat cross-legged on the couch while Caroline showed us the outfits that the boys had to choose from so that we could style their hair accordingly. 

None of it applied to me, because Niall's hair is perfect the way it is, but I did enjoy seeing what the wardrobe choices were. 

The meeting couldnt've been longer than a half an hour, it was mostly just a refresher for everybody. 

Lou gave me a hand to help get off of the couch and Lottie gravitated towards me. 

"So, do you have a boyfriend?" She asked. I knew that question was coming, but I didn't think to prepare an answer. 

"Yes," I said simply. I reminded myself to keep it vague. Maybe if I said that I had a boyfriend, nobody would assume it was anybody from the band.