Jealous | Tommyinnit angst

4 ➪ Am I the Problem?

"Can you please eat? Why don't you?" I pleaded, He was starving himself quite obviously.

"Tommy, I can't eat. Sitting at this table is uncomfortable. Looking at food is disgusting. I can't fucking do it, Tommy. I-'m.. I'm sorry." He sputtered, tears starting to drip down his soft cheeks.

"Wil! B-but you used to love fo-"

"DONT. Remind me of that. I don't wanna fucking think about that. I hate it! I hate it so fucking much." Wilbur spat at me.

"Wilbur!" Techno shouted, Obviously hinting for him to stop yelling.

Wil looked at Techno with tears streaming and his hands shaking. "Techno you fucking started this by yelling at me! so shut up!" Wilbur retaliated. I stood there silent.

Why was my family so hurt and flawed? I couldn't go one day without someone crying or yelling. It's toxic and abnormal.. Is everyone's family like this?

"WILBUR SHUT THE FUCK UP. I DIDNT START SHIT."

"YES, YOU DID!!! YOU POINTED OUT MY FLAWS. IM NOT EVEN TIRED AND WAS PERFECTLY FINE BEFORE YOU STARTED THIS DUMBASS FIGHT!!"

"WILBUR YOU SON OF A BITCH."

"IM NOT THE FUCKING SON OF A BITCH YOU ARE"

"OH, SO YOU'RE TURNING IT BACK TO ME. REAL CREATIVE. I THINK YOUR FORGETTING WE BOTH ARE SONS OF A BITCH. THE ONLY ONES IN THIS FUCKED UP FAMILY!"

"T-" Before Wilbur was about to yell, he processed what Techno leaked. He stared at Techno and Techno put a hand to his mouth and looked at me.

It took me a second to realize and process what he said. I had tears forming in my eyes, I was. Not actually apart of the family? Why was I never told this? ...

"W-what..?" I whimpered, I started crying as they both ran over to me, empathy traced their eyes.

I looked at the clock on the microwave, already nine pm. god.

"Techno.. God- Tommy, look. We weren't supposed to tell you, by Philza's order. But we were going to eventually!!" Wilbur smiled, unconvincingly.

Techno looked at Wil in utter disappointment. It's quite obvious they weren't gonna tell me. Ever.

"I'm fucking 15 I think I can take it," I yelled, pushing them away from me as water began to collect in the bottom of my eyes.

"I know you can! It's just.. Dad would've gotten mad. So please don't tell him. I'm so sorry Tommy ..?" Techno asks, pleading for my forgiveness.

I felt so betrayed, I know it isn't their fault but... They could've at least told me! heat began to rise in my head as a sudden burst of energy created out of anger impulsed.

"You guys are fucking assholes! Why can't you ever just be honest with me?! It's obvious Wil has a fucking eating disorder, and Techno didn't even want to tell me! Maybe not biologically but I'm still his brother! I should be allowed to know about him, and even MYSELF!" I shouted and yelled at them, letting all my emotions run wild.

Wilbur had his hand over his mouth, tears dripping off his cheeks as he sobbed.
Techno looked angry, also sympathetic.

I looked at them both with pure disgust. Suddenly, I ran upstairs to my room and slammed the door shut, locking it with me.

I jumped onto my bed and screamed into my pillow as thoughts started overriding my mental state. Why didn't they tell me sooner? Are they both mad at me? What is there to do? Where is dad? Why am I here? Why did Phil want me to begin with? Do I cause all the problems?

Am I the problem?

Before I knew it, I was back against my bathroom counter, A blade hovering over my wrist. The cuts hadn't even healed. I pressed the blade against my skin and relapsed.

I had cuts trailing my arms, and this time on my legs and sides of my stomach too. There was a lot of blood I had to clean. My eyes got droopy as I started to feel dizzy. I looked at my phone, seeing it was 1 am..

"How.. H-how long have I been he-r... Hᴇʀᴇ.."

I felt my eyes close as everything went dark.