Chapter 52: April

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A/n: I don't know what to write. Sorry this chapter sucks. I didn't know what to write.
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TW: Don't read if you're sensitive to selfharm. It's not described or anything, but there are blood and stuff.

Regina and Clary had gone to breakfast and I sat in the shower with clothes on again. The water fell down in my face while I was wiping away the tears I cried. Ever since I had broken up with George, I had felt even worse than before. He always comforted me and he made me think about other things than the explotion and my stupid feelings. I hated that I realised that I needed him, but I didn't want him back either. It was to late anyways.

I started to physically hurt myself now. I can't handle things right now. I cut open some of the scars I had and I had made a cut in my burnt skin too.

I hadn't talked to Sirius or Remus since February and I missed them. Regina was always with Fred and Clary actually got togheter with Adrian Pucey. Zoe and I had fighted a lot latley about stupid things so she had moved out of our room and stayed with her younger sister. Regina and Clary had to spend some time with Zoe and some time with me, but they also had their boyfriends. Life wasn't at it's best right now. But I don't blame them and I do not feel any pitty for myself. Every choice I have made have been made my me.

I walked out of the shower and dried up the blood from my stomach. I looked into the mirror and couldn't understand how I had ended up like this so fast. Maybe I was just being dramatic, but I really felt alone. There was never someone who comforted me anymore. Regina used to tell me everyday that 'it wasn't my fault', but these days she talked mostly with Clary about their boyfriends.

I put on my sweather and walked out of my room. I lied down in my bed and looked up at the ceiling feeling the tears wanting to burst out, but I wouldn't let them.

I really need you now dad... I thought while looking at a picture of Sirius.

I lifted up my hand and stroked my thumb over the opened scar just to feel some pain.
I looked out the window and saw an owl fly by. He turned around and landed outside of my window. I got up and walked over to let it in.

«Thank you» I said and handed the owl a galleon. I opened the letter and saw that it was from Remus.

Dear Y/n
I hope that you are doing alright. I'm writing this letter for S. He couldn't risk sending you a letter right now, so I am sending one for him. He wanted to tell you that he hope you stays strong and that you have made up with your «friend». He also wanted me to say that he wants you to come home for summer.
Take care of yourself Pup.
~Remus

I put the letter down on my bed and stroked my hands through my hair in frustration.

Damn it... If Sirius knew what I have done latley, he would probably kill me..

I jumped down on my bed on my stomach and I felt the pain shot up my stomach. «Argh...» I whined.

I looked at the calander and saw that it was April 1th. The twins birthday. It had been a year since the dementor party.

Already a year... Time passes quickly... don't it..?

I looked at the clock and saw that it was time for breakfast. The past month I had been eating in the kitchen while the others ate in the Great hall. I hadn't bumped into the twins in a long time, mostly because I never left my room except from classes and I had been very good at keeping distance from them.

I put on a cardigan and some flip flops and ran down to the common room and out the door. I hurried down to the dungeon and walked into the kitchen.

«Thank you Mindy» I said to the little house elf that handed me a croissant and and a mug of pumpkin juice.

«You're welcome Y/n» She said smiling.
«Are you feeling better today?»

«Yes» I lied and forced a smile on my face, trying to be positive.

«That's good» She said and hugged my foot. I patted her on the back and she pulled away.

«I'll see you tomorrow Mindy» I said smiling and walked to the exit.

I walked towards the stairs in the dungeon when I crashed into a brown haired boy. «I'm so sorry Cedric»

«It's alright. I haven't seen you in a while, been busy?» He asked smiling.

«Yeah... very busy» I said with a fake smile.

«Do you want to-» Cedric started when suddenly he was covered in flour. From top to toe. I looked around to try and spot the twins, but I couldn't see them.

«You okey?» I asked with a chuckle while helping him brush of the flour.

«Yeah...» He answered with a small chuckle too. He brushed the flour away from his eyes and a small smile appeared on his lips. «It's annoying though, I have already gotten my face turned purple twice today. By the twins.»

«Yeah.. It's their birthday. I hope they stay away from me» I said looking nervously around. «But it's 1st April so everyone pranks people today.

«I really hate this day. Especially because of Fred and George» He said ruffling his hair.

«Y-» I started before I got a rope around my stomach and I was dragged away on the floor.
«No!»

I was pulled away faster and faster until I landed infront of four feet. I looked up to see a very satisfied pair of ginger twins. They looked down at me and opened a bag. They turned the bag upside down and I was covered in pepper.
I started sneezing and coughing. Cedric came running over to me and muttered a cleaning spell.

I looked up to the twins who smirked at me.
«I'm gonna kill you» I said in a low, threatning voice.

«Love to see you try» George said before he and Fred hurried away, ready to prank their next victim.

Cedric helped me up and he walked me back to my common room to keep me safe from more pranks while I ate my breakfast.
«Thank you Cedric, I can manage to get to my dorm on my own from here» I said, smiling slightly.

«No problem. But I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to Hogsmead with me next week?» He asked with a nervous smile.

«...like.. like a- like a.. date..?» I asked nervously, feeling my cheeks burn up.

«No, no. Just a friendly Hogsmead tour» He answered a bit awkwardly.

I relaxed at his answer and smiled.
«Sure, can't wait» I said with a small smile as I walked into my common room.

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Author's note: Thanks for reading :)

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