Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Male Best Friend Q&A (Part 1)

For whatever reason people really, really like the male best friend rants and they keep requesting more. So, I had a little Q&A on the other site I frequent where people asked me random questions and I answered based on my experience. It’s a two parter, because there were quite a few.

And people have been linking me chapters where my answers helped them develop their characters or gave them inspiration, or whatever (seriously, if you think a chapter/book you have applies to a rant, leave a link in the comments. I don’t care!) so I thought I’d post it over here too.

So here’s the chapter on: Male Best Friend Q&A (Part 1)

Side note, I’m copying and pasting the questions and answers and I tried to pull out the dumb or irrelevant ones, because I literally answered all fifty whatever of them, but if I missed one or two, sorry! Also, they got waaay off track and very raunchy in the later half, so part 2 is going up after editing. I think this one is good.

(I also fixed grammar and made them more clear/vague, for my own purposes. Go me.)

1.       Favorite memory?

I have millions. It’s impossible to pick one, but if I have to, I’d say it might be when I had to pay hospital bills instead of buy concert tickets one time, so he bought them for me as a gift.

When he got them, he told me he got them late and they were seats in the very back and I was totally excited anyway. I just wanted to go. But when we got there, he was lying. They were front goddamn row and it was the best night of my whole life. So probably that.

That or just all the times we hang out. He’s just my favorite!

2.       Most embarrassing moment?

Honestly, I’m too embarrassed to write my most embarrassing moment (and I’m always embarrassed about everything), so I’ll just tell you an embarrassing moment. When I was fourteen my grandma tried to explain to him why I needed birth control. The gist of the conversation was that it’s not for having sex and no babies, it’s for not having “debilitating” periods.

I remember her using that word because I remember for two years we didn’t say it again, because it made him laugh. Debilitating.

3.       Were you guys ever fuck buddies?

Does this matter?

4.       Do you talk about periods and stuff?

Well, I’m not one to talk about my period with anyone, so not really. I mean, I have a chronic pain disease, so obviously he knows when that time comes around, but as far as just discussing it, not much. But that’s because I don’t talk about it with anyone. Even girlfriends.

And if you want me to say I’ve had him pick up tampons and Midol and stuff for me, I haven’t. I’m insanely independent. I don’t care if I can’t walk, if I want something, I take my happy ass to the store and get it or deal. He’s only ever taken me to the hospital for it, he hasn’t done shopping for me. Not that he wouldn’t, but it’s a me thing.

5.       Was he protective of you?

We’re both kind of protective of each other. It’s just our relationship. He knows I don’t need someone to do things for me and I know he’s more than capable of taking care of himself, but yeah. We watch out for each other.

6.       What did your parents think?

My dad was cool with it. I mean, we’ve been friends since I was a day old, so it’s not like he could just randomly decide he didn’t like his daughter hanging out with a guy all day.

7.       Did people think he/you were gay?

Yeah, actually we got that a lot. But it’s not a big deal. Gay isn’t an insult or anything. It’s completely fine.

8.       Does he do girly things with you?

I guess. I don’t guess I do a lot of girly things. He goes shopping with me, but it’s to people watch. And we watch chick-flics, but he makes inappropriate commentary the whole time. But I don’t do tanning, spa, mani/pedi things.

And if I didn’t have this fear of feet, he’d probably let me paint his nails or something. He doesn’t care for people to mess with his hair or anything, you just can’t touch his throat or his face, really. It’s hard to annoy him.

Just don’t try to put makeup on him. He’s not a fan. However, he does like to watch me put it on myself. (So do my dad and my brother. I think it just fascinates them because it’s like painting).

9.       Who takes longer to get ready?

Me. Definitely me. The dude takes two minute showers. I can’t beat that.

10.   Did you guys experiment with each other?

I had to ask the person who asked this what she meant. Turns out, it was dirty stuff. But I will tell you that he was my first kiss. I wanted to know what it was all about and he was just like “this”. It wasn’t romantic. Not in the least.

11.   Did your other friends want to hook up with him?

Always.

12.   Do you do couple things together?

Yup. Neither of us really dated in high school, so we were always each other’s plus one.

Always. We went to prom together. We go to all our friends’ weddings together (provided neither of us has a good excuse not to show). I go to his charity events and his work events when I can. He’s my date to my runway shit when he can. He was my date to my little art thingy that I did. Yeah. We’re always last minute dates.

13.   Did you ever think of him as a brother?

Actually, this is where I differ from other girls with guys for best friends. No. I did not. And I think that mostly it was because I had an older brother and the things I did and talked about with my best friend were completely different than what I did with my brother.

I kind of grouped everyone out of necessity when I was little, and my best friend got grouped as a confidant more than anything. So, no. I did not. And I don’t guess he ever thought of me as a sister, because we kind of ended up as a thing…so…yeah.